“‘It could be something, it could be nothing.’ My blood pressure spiked dangerously high. The doctor said, ‘We need to admit you. Today.’ I was hooked to an IV in a massive, darkened birthing room in the middle of the night. When it came time for his arrival, there were 20 people in the room. All I remember saying was, ‘Oh, he’s so cute,’ and then he was gone.”
“Within 24 hours, I was being prepped for emergency surgery. My uterus was growing up and outwards and had completely cut off my uretha and bladder. ‘This is life-threatening to you and your twins.’ We were told to brace ourselves for the loss of both babies. I woke up to a large incision from my breast to my pelvis.”
“At 9, they’ve already commented on her body, her face, her clothes, her family. Those words don’t hurt me because I know they’re not true. I know she’s enough. What kills me is how she believes the naysayers of the world instead of her mama, the person who knows her best.”
“When people asked me that when I was first married, I thought nothing of it. I would respond, ‘Oh we are just going to enjoy married life for a while, maybe in a couple of years.’ They don’t realize the heartache. The feelings and sense of failure behind that question.”
“I would tell him I was in for the night, he would call and insist I meet him out somewhere. I would say no more drinks, he would order me another one. Every bartender in town knew to pour half my drink out when he wasn’t looking. I was scared to tell him no.”
“Two of the humans who I love more than they could ever fathom, I have to worry about them dying for no reason other than the color of their skin or the badge on their shirt. My heart is in pieces.”
“I never had the chance to ask myself, ‘Why me?’ I knew EXACTLY why me from the moment I hung up the phone that day. I feel like I have been preparing for this my entire life.”
“I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know when our lives will get back to normal. I don’t know what our next school year will look like and when I will get to see you again. But what I do know is you are worth facing any challenge.”
“Because of autism, I don’t have to explain the growing list of hashtags. Because of autism, I must worry about protecting my nonverbal child from authorities who don’t understand she will not comprehend or obey verbal orders.”
“He would be so confused as to why he was restrained and had a tube down his throat. I stood bedside, looking at my strong boy who was now lifeless. My world came crashing down. I reflected on how I was going to help my strong dude recover.”
