“I remember knowing it was going so fast, yet I couldn’t imagine a day when my house wasn’t filled with littles and their every need. I now only wish I had it all on film to sit back and watch and wonder at. Younger me with younger them, frozen in time.”
“I live in white suburbia. There will come a day when I have to explain to my kids why they are being treated differently than their friends or even each other. When they grow up and ask me what I did to effect change, I hope they’ll be proud of my response.”
“I chalked it up to eating spicy Cajun food. 5 a.m. the following morning, I jerked myself awake with the sudden urge to throw up. I immediately called my mom, sobbing. ‘What’s wrong?!’ Without hesitation, my sweet angel of a mother got in her car and drove 2 hours to see me. My boyfriend was sleeping so peacefully, not knowing what was about to hit him.”
“You’re wandering around delirious, hoping someday you’ll sleep a full night again. You’re digging for pacifiers in the most unthinkable spaces. Sweet girl, the beginning is a doozy.”
“‘It could be something, it could be nothing.’ My blood pressure spiked dangerously high. The doctor said, ‘We need to admit you. Today.’ I was hooked to an IV in a massive, darkened birthing room in the middle of the night. When it came time for his arrival, there were 20 people in the room. All I remember saying was, ‘Oh, he’s so cute,’ and then he was gone.”
“Within 24 hours, I was being prepped for emergency surgery. My uterus was growing up and outwards and had completely cut off my uretha and bladder. ‘This is life-threatening to you and your twins.’ We were told to brace ourselves for the loss of both babies. I woke up to a large incision from my breast to my pelvis.”
“At 9, they’ve already commented on her body, her face, her clothes, her family. Those words don’t hurt me because I know they’re not true. I know she’s enough. What kills me is how she believes the naysayers of the world instead of her mama, the person who knows her best.”
“When people asked me that when I was first married, I thought nothing of it. I would respond, ‘Oh we are just going to enjoy married life for a while, maybe in a couple of years.’ They don’t realize the heartache. The feelings and sense of failure behind that question.”
“I would tell him I was in for the night, he would call and insist I meet him out somewhere. I would say no more drinks, he would order me another one. Every bartender in town knew to pour half my drink out when he wasn’t looking. I was scared to tell him no.”
“Two of the humans who I love more than they could ever fathom, I have to worry about them dying for no reason other than the color of their skin or the badge on their shirt. My heart is in pieces.”
