‘When are you going to have kids?’ I cringe any time I hear that question.’: Woman urges ‘PLEASE think before asking’ after 2-year battle with infertility

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So, when are you going to have kids?

If you are a young person that is married, I’m sure you have heard the age-old question ‘So When are you going to have kids?’ When people asked me that when I was first married, I thought nothing of it and would respond ‘Oh we are just going to enjoy married life for a while, maybe in a couple of years.’

Now, almost 2 1/2 years later, I cringe any time I hear that question. Little do they know that my husband and I have been trying for well over a year with no luck. They don’t realize the heartache, the feelings and sense of failure that are behind that question.

The Feelings.

Unless you have gone through the process of trying to conceive and it not working you really have no idea how it feels. You don’t understand having to be on a never-ending pattern month after month. Going through all the highs and lows for it to end with a reminder every single month that yet again it isn’t your turn.

The slight bitterness you feel when someone says, ‘Well with the next kid we will try to have it on XX month’ and you just wish and pray it was that easy for you.

After a while you start to question your identity and wonder if things are ever going to actually work out in your favor. You start worrying that you will never get to experience pregnancy and disappointing your loved ones. The worst part of it all is when you feel your faith start to waver.

For the person that is going through this.

Never give up on God. He does have a plan for you, it might not be the plan that you created in your head but nevertheless he does. All throughout the bible the Lord promises to always be with you and to never give up on you.

11 For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. | Jeremiah 29:22

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. | Proverbs 3:5-6

For the person asking the question.

So, I just ask you PLEASE the next time you think about asking what seems to be a simple question, remember these words. You could be kicking someone while they are down and not even realize it.

Pray for them.

Prayer is such a powerful thing and can make all the difference. Pray that they feel God’s overwhelming comfort and pray that they don’t feel alone. Pray for their marriage that it may bring them together and make them stronger. Last of all, Pray that their trust in God would remain steadfast.”

Courtesy of Nathan McBride @Unsplash

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Adopted by Hymn. The story originally appeared here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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