“My heart has been in pieces.
The reality of my son’s life being in danger and having to talk through these events with him is crushing. He was gone a little too long on a bike ride this week and my thoughts go to worrying about his life.
At the same time, my husband, who does his job with integrity and honor, has to walk out the door to serve and protect during riots and I worry about his life too.
Two of the humans who I love more than they could ever fathom, I have to worry about them dying for no reason other than the color of their skin or the badge on their shirt. I sometimes think about what their funerals would be like.
Do I trust God? Absolutely I do. He is the only reason I am sane, and I will continually press into His promises. But I also know there is evil and the thought of those I love being taken from this life unjustly is so much.
If I’m honest, before I was a police wife or before my son joined our family, I was ignorant to my privilege but, thankfully, God has used them to open my eyes. I am still learning, and you should be too.
There are so many activists and allies you can follow and learn from. Seek them out. Read. Pray. Give. Continually talk to your children and require they are educated in racism and know how to be an ally. Call things out. Say you are sorry and act. Pray for empathy for things you could never understand because you are white. Pray for police officers’ protection and that they lead with light.
I am so angry this tension still exists, but I am so hopeful we can be the change. Time is up, we have to be.
I desperately want my husband to come home each and every day so please, when you see an officer acting with integrity, show kindness, and thank them. When you see my black son, who looks much older than his age and is right in the midst of growing from a cute little boy to a big black man, protect and love him. Advocate for and stand in the gap for both of them.
From the bottom of my heart, do the work to bring unity and justice. The people I love’s lives, and so many others, depend on you.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Mandy Radtke. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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