“He was hitting his milestones. He was happy. He was supposed to beat the odds. One evening, we noticed he wasn’t himself. He wasn’t making eye contact and was whimpering non-stop. We thought it was the heat, so we gave him a cool bath and went to sleep. The next morning, his face turned blue before my eyes. He went limp. The ambulance came and took Noah away. I couldn’t believe it. My baby wasn’t my baby anymore. Watching him fight made me so strong. For him. For us.”
“‘Mommy will be so happy and proud of me!’ Suds started pouring out of the machine. Her eyes turned the deepest shade of black I’ve ever seen. She withheld my food and called my stepfather to tell him to come home and beat me, just to watch me suffer. My mother showed me everything, with extreme clarity, I do not want to be.”
“Growing up, I often felt a lot of anxiety. I would undress immediately after putting on clothes. I couldn’t stand the feeling of my brothers sitting next to me. I would desperately put my hands beside my thighs to get relief if their legs pressed against mine. I want to help the little girl inside of me who spent 34 years feeling there was ‘wrong’ with her. I want to hug her and tell her it’s not her fault.”
“Here I was, a young 20-something female who thought I had control over my life. I nervously dialed the number, terrified she’d pick a new family to parent her unborn baby. After all, I was no longer ‘childless.’ 3 weeks later, we got a call back. ‘She wants YOU.’ Humbling is the only word. Of all the people in this world, she chose me. At 4:04 p.m., we stepped outside of our room to hear the most beautiful first cry.”
“Six months ago, my whole world came crashing down around me. My husband suffered right in front of me. Losing him at a young age broke my heart, but it didn’t break my spirit.”
“‘You’re going to find the perfect outfit. Your body just birthed a human, be easy on yourself.’ I could feel the tears creeping in, the familiar burn in the bridge of my nose. This time I knew the root of it was different. I cried for all the years I spent hating my body. For all of the years hiding behind throw pillows and purses. I did something that, before, would have been out of the question. I told them the truth.”
“While out walking the dog on Saturday morning, just days after my last daughter left the nest, I got a call from my oldest child. ‘He’s here. He’s been born!’ In the span of just 24 hours, I was forcibly retired from the only job I’d ever wanted, and thrust into a role I had no idea how to do.”
“I spent 10 years numbing my pain, always trying to be the loudest in the room to hide the shame. In the depths of my darkness, being a young mom just wasn’t an option. The party life was for me. Until I met Eric. We met on an online dating app, then locked eyes at the gym, not knowing the other would be there. I knew instantly I would spend the rest of my life with him. I had to make a decision: be ashamed of my journey, or allow it to propel me forward.”
“I went to my ex’s wedding. His fiancé asked me to be there with them, so I went. I was terrified. ‘Wow, a woman who hardly knows my daughter is going out of her way to welcome her back home?’ That was the moment I realized, she is the one for my ex and our daughter.”
“He was lifeless and pale. The clock was ticking. All we could do was pray and hold his little hand. Sitting beside his hospital bed, 3 genetic doctors in white coats rushed in. ‘Can we go to a private room to talk?’ I walked down the hallway in a fog. ‘We were wrong. It’s severe. He will never live independently on his own.’ Soon after, he had a stroke and began seizing up. This was the worst-case scenario. It was really happening.”
