‘He may not always hold my hand, or say the words ‘I love you.’ But he always leaves me a plate of food on the counter.’: Woman says ‘it’s the little things’ after 21 years of marriage

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“Yesterday I read an article about hitting the marriage jackpot if your husband does these 10 things. My husband of 21 years does not do the 10 things listed. He probably only does half, but I still feel like I hit the marriage jackpot.

The jackpot took many chances to win. Marriage definitely isn’t easy. 21 years of marriage is much different than 2 years of marriage. There are financial issues, kid issues, and when we do have time for ourselves, one of us is usually exhausted. It hasn’t always been an easy road. Some of that may be due to my expectations of a relationship, thanks in part to Hallmark movies. Here are some reasons why I feel like I hit the marriage jackpot.

My husband is a good provider. He didn’t come from money. He started low on the totem pole and worked his way up himself. This just doesn’t allow our family money, but it allowed me to stay home for a few years while raising our kids. It didn’t pay for me to work, as daycare for three kids would have cost the same or more than my paycheck. He never asked me how I would help out, as he knew being a stay at home mom is hard. Find someone who works hard. It’s not about the money. It’s about work ethic.

My husband is supportive. It doesn’t matter if it’s about my job, my friendships or anything else, he is my biggest cheerleader. Find someone who has your back no matter what.

My husband brings me flowers each week from the grocery store. He not only buys them for me, but he puts them in the vase too. It’s the little things. Plus, he knows I don’t want a dozen roses from the florist. Instead, I want the $10 bouquet of flowers. It is totally the thought that counts, not the price tag.

Oh, and did I mention he now grocery shops, cooks dinner, and cleans the dishes? Jackpot! My husband’s love language is definitely Acts of Service. As for romance, he is not the most romantic in the traditional sense. He may walk ten steps ahead of me, not always hold my hand, or say the words ‘I love you’ all of the time. But he will show it with food. He will cook me rice, mashed potatoes, or tuna fish and make it into the shape of a heart. If I’m out at night and he knows I’m hungry, he will leave me a plate of food on the counter along with a drink. That might seem so trivial, but it means so much.

One year, he also made a heart out of snow and spray painted it red. When I drove home from work to see that, I laughed. I thought our kids made it at first and I loved it. That was until the snow heart melted and it looked like we had a pool of blood on our front lawn from the spray paint. Even then, I laughed some more.

Find someone who is romantic to you in their own way.

My husband is an amazing father. One of my biggest complaints with him is I am the disciplinarian, and he is the fun one. Sometimes I would like him to ‘parent’ our kids without me telling him what to say and them knowing it came from me. But I absolutely love the fact our kids love him so much, can speak to him about anything, and most importantly, they laugh a lot with him.

One of our pet peeves is when someone says their spouse is babysitting their child(ren). They are not my children and he babysits them when I’m out. We are both parents equally. Whether you have babies or fur babies with a partner, find someone who will love your babies as much as you do.

My husband is truly my best friend. He is the first one I want to tell anything to. We don’t keep secrets (that I know of!), we laugh all the time, we are supportive of each other, and one of the biggest things I am proud of is there is no jealousy. I can never understand when couples can’t have friends of the opposite sex. It is all about trust and we have complete trust with each other.

Find someone who you can talk to, laugh with and most of all be honest and trusting.

My husband makes me laugh, a lot, which is so needed in our stressful lives. Sometimes I may roll my eyes at him, but I am almost always laughing. Find someone who makes you smile and laugh.

Last night at 2 am is when I thought of how much I truly love my husband and this isn’t in that article of the 10 things to show you hit the marriage jackpot. Our 19-year-old son woke us at 2 am to let us know he threw up in his room. My husband knows I would get sick, too, if I smelled that, so he had no problem with me staying in bed. He went in and cleaned our son’s room for a half-hour and put the sheets in the wash.

If that isn’t true love, then I don’t know what is.”

Courtesy Jodi Whoriskey

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Jodi Whoriskey. Visit her website here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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