‘My leg is tingling!’ The morphine wore off. My heartbeat stopped, then my baby’s. I blacked out.’: Mom suffers from PTSD after child loss, now pregnant with rainbow baby, ‘I will always love her’

“I was so close to death. Around 2 a.m. my labor completely kicked in. I fell back asleep until I felt something ‘down there.’ I moved my hand and felt my daughter’s head. ‘They couldn’t find a heartbeat.’ Not a dry eye ever left my room. I saw her still heart, the same heart chambers that were beating so perfectly just a month before. My baby girl was gone.”

‘You are a boy, hunny,’ I would say to him gently. By age 4, he was flat out denying this could be true.’: Mom reflects on when her daughter ‘was born my son’

“Matthew was constantly asking to watch Disney princess movies. ‘Kids are kids,’ I thought. I loved my feminine, eccentric son. The problem was, the older he got, the more he did not love himself. He was always angry. He’d flip chairs at school. He was misunderstood, but to what degree I had no idea. ‘When I grow up and I’m a girl…’ My husband and I would correct him, and often, he’d be sad with the reality.”

‘I climbed the metal ladder and saw my daughter lying face down. ‘Please Mom, don’t do that.’ If I fell, no one could use the Narcan.’: Mom shares harrowing journey finding daughter overdosed

“My heart sank, and I begged her not to go. My premonition was right in front of me. ‘Please, you have to come home…I’m hearing noises coming out of Monica’s room.’ I found myself breaking down her door. She was grey and purple, her fingers were clenched closed. To our horror, we saw her ‘works’ by her bed.”

‘Graduating isn’t possible.’ My body was shutting down. But I was going to get my degree one way or another.’: Woman finds ‘strength, faith’ among tumor discovery and multiple chronic diagnoses

“She had only ever seen once in her career. My world completely stopped. I had to quit all my activities. I was separated from everyone. And just when I thought there might be light at the end of the tunnel, we got more life changing news. I bet you’ve never heard someone wanting to go to school so badly, but I did. I just wanted to feel normal again.”

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