“My parents comfort me by saying, ‘We will get through this.’ I needed oxygen pumped into my nostrils at all times to breathe. I was afraid I was dying. I’ve seen videos where they interview elderly people on their deathbeds who are asked what they regret in life. Most people regret not having lived passionately, fulfilled and happy. I believed I would be one of them if I didn’t make a change.”
“I struggled to eat because my belly always felt so full. Every day I assumed it would be the day we rush to the hospital, but days went by and somehow, I kept them in. When they pulled out the first baby, it felt like a 5 lb. weight was lifted off my lungs. ‘If you can get out of bed and into a wheelchair, you can go see the babies.’ Challenge accepted.”
“I must’ve been tested for everything under the sun. ‘There’s nothing wrong with you.’ The harder I worked, the more stamina I lost and the weaker I got. They told me it was anxiety. They were doctors. They had to be right. At that point, I’d given up.”
“She was dancing around the facts, and we could tell. She wanted to see if we would scare. He’d run from his previous placement, was failing all of his classes. She had no other place to turn. We asked to FaceTime him. We saw the emptiness in his eyes and the face of a kid who didn’t even know what hope was. He couldn’t make eye contact. His skin was covered with sores, his hands curled and tremored. He was 15. He was ours. He told us the drugs he’d done, the girls he’d been with, and the things he’d seen, and I couldn’t help but see the beginnings of a boy who would leave that past behind.”
“I was invited to a party across the street. There were white rocks on the table. I asked, ‘What is that?’ They asked me if I wanted to try it. The second it went into my body, I was already addicted. In the middle of winter, I walked down the street with no shoes as blood ran down my legs. After ONE HIT, I went from start athlete to sticking needles in my arms in abandoned apartment buildings. I sold my body, my soul, and everything for the next one.”
“I still can’t always be and do everything. AND THAT’S OK! IT’S OK to need time for yourself. When a mother takes time for self-care, she’s replenishing her spirit to give more to her children. You cannot pour from an empty cup. The more you give yourself, the more you have to give.”
“My husband encouraged me to look at my 1-pound daughter. If Lily died, we agreed to sell all our belongings and move to a beach in Hawaii, disappearing until we felt strong enough to return – but Pat knew Lily was strong enough to survive. I had intense, terrifying thoughts. This is not what we anticipated when we took our vows, but we faced each day together. We’ve come so far from stupid teenagers breaking curfew for 5 more minutes together, but if they could look ahead, I know they’d be pretty damn proud of us, too.”
“They said it was time… I was scared, could you tell? My hands were trembling. Did you see how I kept looking up at the ceiling to hold back tears? I couldn’t breathe. I rolled you to your side and you let the last of the air out from your lungs. As I combed your hair, did you hear me whisper to you that ‘YOU are truly loved’? I don’t understand how I could have this kind of love for someone I barely even knew. I can’t explain it.”
“I had no idea just a couple of days later, we would experience a loss and pain we were never prepared for. Our loss made us stronger. ’Your scans showed a high probability your baby will have Down Syndrome.’ How can I be a good mother when I hate being pregnant? I just didn’t want to be pregnant anymore.”
“Will took me to a graduation party for his ex-girlfriend. Turns out she was younger than I was. He’d started seeing her when she was underage, causing a scandal. We both had a lot to drink. By the time we got back to my apartment and crawled into bed, fueled by seeing him interact with his ex, I was determined to consummate what we had going on. I thought it would help me keep him. I did. We did. I convinced him. I woke in the morning to find he was gone. There was no note. Nothing.”
