“I didn’t have it in me to tell her this was my swimsuit.”
- Love What Matters
- Health
“I didn’t have it in me to tell her this was my swimsuit.”
“‘Emily?’ The sniffling voice on the other line was hoarse from sobbing. I sighed. A tearful call in the middle of the night could only mean one thing. She hesitated. ‘Will you and Chris be my foster parents?’ I was caught off guard. We were 23 and 24 at the time, and newly engaged.”
“We noticed a handful of brown curls on Rosie’s pillow. ‘Maybe she’s stressed about the new baby?’ The next morning, even more curls. ‘Maybe she’s allergic to her shampoo?’ Monday came and the last of her hair fell out. Our pediatrician assured us it was stress. It wasn’t. Our hope that this would be a temporary condition, even a funny story someday, slowly faded. Instead, we had to get used to the unkind stares and finger-pointing.”
“People are constantly telling you how you should feed your kids. When does it all stop? I felt the need to please everyone, all the time. I became a pleaser. For the fear of letting anyone down, I did whatever I could to make everyone happy. Meanwhile, I was losing myself.”
“I got pregnant and things hit the fan. He started disappearing. For DAYS. My tires were slashed. My window was smashed. The police rolled their eyes. When my neighbor saw me, she grabbed me and pulled me into her house. I was met with, ‘But you are so strong. You just don’t seem like the type.’”
“I was working 80 hours a week. All the while, my baby daddy was partying and sleeping with other girls. I remember crying and feeling so close to death. Yet, this life was forming inside of me. I wanted to give my unborn child a chance.”
“’Katie, is now an okay time to talk?’ It was our IVF coordinator. ‘Unfortunately, I don’t have very good news.’ I choked back tears, and thanked her. He had a total of 12 sperm. My husband hugged me and apologized. It was heartbreaking. Our doctor grabbed my hand. I looked at her in disbelief.”
“My husband’s counts had dropped to almost nothing. Six live sperm were found. Six! No six thousand. Just six. We got a letter in the mail. The yearly fee to keep his sperm frozen was due. It was hundreds of dollars. We had to make a decision about our future– right now. At 26 years old, I VOLUNTARILY had a hysterectomy. Then, we got the call.”
“I hear the engine shut off. My husband screams and the world stops. ‘I need mommy.’ The motor belt scalped the whole right side of her head, crushing her skull. She looked at me and said, ‘Mommy, the angels were with me.’”
“I sent my brother an email. ‘I was a wake last night.’ He never came into my bedroom at night again. When it came time for my wedding years later, my mom insisted I do things ‘her way.’ She wanted my brother to stand beside my husband. We danced around it, but nothing worked. I had to tell her what my brother did to me. ‘How could you do this to us? You’re tearing our family apart,’ I was told. For years, I tried to navigate this deep, dark pit and find light. She threw me back into the dirt.”