“The room began spinning. I was thrilled to have my baby but terrified by the words used to describe him. Unlike his older brother’s birth, not one person came to see him. No flowers were delivered. No one knew what to say, so they said nothing. On that day, my life became defined by two words. Before and after.”
“He knew I was a woman of faith and that there were plenty in the church who believed it was wrong, including the man I was married to. ‘Mom, I want you to open this.’ Soon after, I realized this was no choice.”
“My high-school sweetheart cheated on me, then dumped me. My friends couldn’t cope with my ‘new normal’ and turned away. I didn’t want to be different. My body was thin, my face swollen. I looked like an alien. Minutes later, he pointed to a black hole of goo where my lungs should’ve been. I frantically tried to make it to the break room but blacked out.”
“‘I see you have a notebook there,’ I said. There we stood, unlikely friends totally blocking the stairs to the subway. It was a moment of pure magic.”
“Your husband will say and do the wrong things leading up to delivery. He will annoy you. Then, your baby will come out looking exactly like him. All that morning sickness, the inability to eat sushi, the limiting your coffee intake, the sacrifices, only for your husband to get all the credit. It will make you slightly crazy.”
“In addition to planning two funerals, my husband and I were left with a room full of baby items. Three boppy pillows, three bouncers, enough diapers for three little babies. I waited in line to return it all. The grief took a hold of me.”
“I’ll never forget the words he said. ‘Knowing what his brain looks like, I can’t believe he is talking like this.’ I went to my car and cried. I cried tears of joy and tears of relief. And if I’m being honest, a few tears of fear. By early May, it was confirmed.”
“I remember sitting there with my head against the closet thinking my Christmas Eve was already ruined without him there. I remember the tears started streaming down my face even though I tried to keep it together for him and the girls. My older daughter came over and wrapped her arms around my neck because she could tell I was upset.”
“It’s safe to say things didn’t go as planned.”
“I asked him if he would come to the hideout so we could talk. No adult knew about it. He met me there, and I told him I was gay. ‘I don’t want to date a guy, that’s disgusting!’ I was devastated.”
