‘When our son was 7 months old, we stumbled upon heroin. I never imagined my daughter would call another man ‘DaDa.’: Woman recounts losing partner to addiction

“I was covered in puke, knees scraped from the driveway. For 45 minutes I walked around holding my 3-month-old to my chest, just praying for a miracle. ‘We did everything we could, but it just wasn’t enough.’ I was living in my worst nightmare. ‘Can God give my Daddy back?’ Telling my son was the hardest thing I’d ever done.”

‘Zane got a call from a fellow soldier. He knew a young woman who was expecting a baby. She wanted a loving family for him. ‘We might be getting a baby!’ I was stunned, ecstatic, and terrified.’

“The day finally arrived. The doctor opened the door, popped his head in and said, ‘How about Monday?’ I glanced over to see her expression. ‘Sounds good!’ On the inside I was doing a full-blown happy dance. My thoughts were screaming, ‘That’s MY birthday!!! His birthday is going to be MY birthday!’”

‘My sister arrived to find me trying to clean up another bladder accident. She pulled out a pack of Depends. ‘Well I guess you WILL be needing these!’ I reluctantly took the pack from her, and put on the adult diaper.’

“I’m scared of finding out what’s really wrong with me; I’m scared of how fast my health is declining; I’m scared I won’t be able to be the super mom and wife I have been; I’m scared because I’m not able to work; I’m just scared!”

‘My psychologist said, ‘K, I think we need to stop. It’s clear you have so much trauma. I can’t believe you’re still here.’: Woman advocates for mental health, ‘We need to be there for each other’

“I was on a bus to work when the voice came back: ‘You should just cut yourself.’ It startled me. Then the nightmares started. I met my psychologist, a male. I told him about the stalking. I told him I watched my friend attempt suicide many times in front of me and saw death coming for her.”

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