“I wasn’t even doing IVF! Holy FREAKING COW,’ I yelled. FOUR babies?! Is that even possible? There must be a mistake, I can’t be having four babies! But there they were, quadruplets. We are going to need a bigger house.”
I Battled Infertility, Then I Gave Birth To Quadruplets
‘It was 6 a.m. I froze. ‘That’s weird. She never calls this early.’ When I arrived, he kept holding his stomach. Mom’s ALWAYS know what’s wrong, but she couldn’t figure this one out.’
“He didn’t say much. I couldn’t get any words out. He ran up and gave me a light little poke before running away. All I could think was, ‘Why? He’s only 14.'”
‘The nurse asked my husband, ‘Do you know your wife is an alcoholic?’ He knew. ‘Was the cop there for me?,’ I thought, frozen in fear.’
“I ended up buying a $1,500 puppy at the mall, taking a picture on the mall Santa’s lap by myself and checking into a hotel. Apparently, I walked from the hotel to an outdoor mall where I was arrested in a blackout for ‘drunk walking’ in public. Yes, I was arrested by the mall cops.”
‘I opened the door and saw a man holding flowers. ‘I have a delivery for Nikki,’ he said. I instantly turned to my husband, assuming they were from him. Except, they weren’t. I could tell by the confused look on his face.’
“‘Who are they from?,’ I asked. He so matter of factly said, ‘Your Mom.’ But my mom has been dead for almost eight years now.”
‘You may only get one of them, in your entire life. People who are loyal as hell. People who invite you. People who aren’t suddenly too cool for you when the popular girls enter the room.’
“People who don’t shrug you off when you’re going through a slump. People who don’t make you walk around on eggshells. Life is crazy. But sometimes, every once in a blue moon, we’re lucky enough.”
‘I don’t know how we got to that house. I don’t know why I did the things I did when we got there. I just know it was my bottom. I hurt him terribly by cheating on him.’
“When I woke up that morning, I was so incomprehensibly demoralized and mortified at myself and my behavior. I never wanted to feel that way again. I never wanted to hurt like that again. I had to change.”
‘My boyfriend woke me. ‘He is in the house.’ I checked the doors, all locked. I climbed back into bed. ‘I just saw him in the hall!’ I got up again. He was there. We heard a loud BOOM!’
“We started arguing and it woke my son up. Excited to see his dad, he ran to him. He picked him up, turned and walked out. He just took my son! I was in shock. She knew. She told me to pack a small bag and get the hell outta there.”
‘Get in the car,’ my mom forcefully tells me. My mind is racing. Turning me into jail? Where are we going? The drive feels like an eternity.’ She parks. ‘Do you see this place?,’ she chokes out.’
“I had an urge. I was terrified. I went to the only place I knew I was safe. She was asleep. I stood by her crib and stared at the greatest gift I had ever been given, my beautiful baby girl. As I looked at her, tears flooded out of me. That night, she saved my life.”
‘I got implants after having a baby. I truly thought, ‘No big deal.’ I started having pain, EVERYWHERE. ‘SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME.’: Woman recounts horrible experience with breast implants
“Then one day I met someone. I started reading the posts and asking questions. I found woman after woman with stories that mirrored mine. They were ME! I was THEM! Some were so sick they were on the verge of death, LITERALLY. This is when everything changed. Suddenly, I knew I needed to get them out of me ASAP.”
‘The tree crushed the roof of the car. My head compressed. My spine burst. I don’t remember it. I woke up thinking it was a nightmare. ‘There’s no way I could still be alive,’ I told myself.’
“Life has changed. The depth of loss I face daily. But everyday I am faced with a choice. Will I choose to survive today or will I choose to thrive? No matter the lemons or curveballs, the choice is mine.”