‘As I begin to pull my ring off, my once elegant and ladylike fingers transform into bratwursts before my eyes.’: Woman hilariously shares why she had wedding ring sawed off during pregnancy 

“When did I develop Ogre’s hands? With every tug, my finger becomes more and more engorged. Dear God, I am going to be fingerless. My grave is going to say, ‘Here lies Lisa, the woman who lost her finger because she was too stupid to take her wedding ring off before the 3rd trimester.’ I am panicking. I run to my husband screaming, waving my hands all around.”

‘I got a text from my daughter’s school saying, ‘You’re going to love this.’ I started to laugh and simultaneously cry.’: Mom recounts hilarious card to teacher from ‘wild’ daughter

“I read it again. ‘A best friend you can have sex with,’ and then flipped to the inscription ‘How great is that?’ I thought about joining witness protection or calling my daughter in sick for the rest of the year so I didn’t have to face her teacher.”

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