“As funny as these truths are, thank God he made moms and dads to balance each other.”
- Love What Matters
- Humor
“As funny as these truths are, thank God he made moms and dads to balance each other.”
“Cook a big dinner for everyone.”
“Your toddler will probably morph into all of these types at one point or another — sometimes even simultaneously.”
“I sat straight up. It wasn’t like him to just not come back.”
“When did I develop Ogre’s hands? With every tug, my finger becomes more and more engorged. Dear God, I am going to be fingerless. My grave is going to say, ‘Here lies Lisa, the woman who lost her finger because she was too stupid to take her wedding ring off before the 3rd trimester.’ I am panicking. I run to my husband screaming, waving my hands all around.”
“I read it again. ‘A best friend you can have sex with,’ and then flipped to the inscription ‘How great is that?’ I thought about joining witness protection or calling my daughter in sick for the rest of the year so I didn’t have to face her teacher.”
“Mama, I’ll grab the wine and the s’mores, then I’ll meet you next to the dumpster fire so we can watch it burn together.”
“This London artist has a special ability to be able to see a spark of life and creativity in the common, often overlooked elements of everyday life, highlighting the ‘brighter side of the mundane.'”
“My food is ‘spicy.’ The Easter bunny, Santa, and the tooth fairy are real. I don’t know why the annoying toy louder than a blow horn suddenly doesn’t work anymore. No, we don’t have batteries to replace them either.”
“I have officially died. I’m dead.”