“‘You can be a Mom. You don’t need a husband.’ I couldn’t ignore how her words resonated with the deepest part of my heart. ‘Can I really do this?’ I asked the nurse, ‘is everything okay?’ She shook her head and said, ‘no.’ I was disoriented. ‘What are you saying?’ This pulled a strength out of me I never knew I had.”
“The last thing I want is a friend crying to me over the phone, holding her newborn, telling me she’s not cut out for this. So, I told her the truth. That most nights I sleep 4 hours. My relationship suffered, my body changed, and I got the baby blues. That I’m still mourning the carefree girl I was before, who loved not knowing what tomorrow would bring. I’m still letting her go.”
“‘Hey Girl, what you up to?’ ‘That’s my cousin, I’ll introduce ya.’ She motioned him over. Jasper winked and walked back to the car. ‘Girl he is waaaay too old for you,’ she cautioned. ‘Age ain’t nothing but a number. I like the way he looks.’ I was smitten.”
“I’m battling Susan at Aldi because she has 4 items less than me and wants to go in front. It’s having eggplants thrown at me fast and hard by an angry check out assistant. If I make it too yellow will my 5-year-old have a hernia because it looks like it’s been touched by a vegetable?”
“I find myself angry. Angry I am here asking a search engine stupid, little questions almost every one else in my life gets to talk to their mom about. I never realized how many things I would still need to ask, until the option wasn’t there anymore. The worst part? Every time, the grief hits me hard all over again.”
“‘There’s been an accident.’ Silence. My doorbell rang. 6 uniformed agents were at my front door. ‘Leave your daughter here, they will watch her, you need to come with me.’ I was hesitant, but sensed the urgency in their voices. No one knows how long he had been laying there. I froze. I kept thinking it was a joke. Scott was a huge prankster. I just kept hoping his eyes would open.”
“People can be inconsiderate and make comments, but it is only because they don’t understand or they will choose not to. However, the choice is yours whether or not to take that as your identity.”
“When I was 18, I threw a party at my house. I convinced my parents I was grown enough to stay home alone. Enter the sweaty keg in the living room that left a ring on the floor permanently. And the collection of teddy bears my mom kept in the living room drowned in the pool. It was devastating. That night I drank too much and let people I thought were friends, destroy parts of my childhood.”
“An older black woman at my church said to me, ‘You two are healers…I can sense it. It is healing you both and it is healing the world.’ Kevin wasn’t the first black man I’d dated, but I was starting to hope he’d be the last.”
“I signed an incident report which stated he didn’t even cry at the time. Do I need to be upset? Nah. I would’ve given anything to have just one mom look up at me and say, ‘I’ve been there too. It’s okay.’”
