‘I feel like Mufasa walking in the produce aisle. I’m always flattening out my curls. ‘We can both be beautiful together!’: Daughter inspires mom to embrace her curls, ‘I have to love my actual, physical self’

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“I was tucking in my baby girl the other day, and, like usual, my hair was still damp from the shower. But, unlike usual, it wasn’t yet up in a mom bun. I hadn’t been able to find my scrunchie, so my hair was drying naturally and had curled up a little bit. Holland was thrilled:

‘Mommy! Your hair is curly like MINE?’

The amount of excitement in her voice kind of surprised me.

‘Yes, my hair looks like yours before I…’

I almost said, ‘Fix it,’ y’all.


I quickly diverted, ‘Honey, do you want me to leave it curly more often?’

‘YESSS!’ Holland squealed. ‘We can both be beautiful together!’

Which I guess is why I found myself, late last weekend, researching how to heal my naturally wavy hair. Y’all, I was surprised at how much of a PROCESS this is going to be.

But…I think it’s going to be good in a few ways.

I am about to get intentional about self-care, which is not a thing I’ve done since becoming a mother. I’m gonna have to learn to love something about my actual, physical self, and that’s not a thing I’ve done since becoming a mother, either.

Courtesy of Mary Katherine Backstrom

And it doesn’t matter if I feel like Mufasa walking around in the produce aisle, I’m gonna have to get comfy with these curls quick.

Because how can I tell Holland I see her curls as perfect when I’m always flattening out mine!?

Well, she’s four. I’m sure I could come up with something. But for now, the plan is to SHOW my little girl everything about her is amazing… and her curls are AMAZING… aaaaand Mommy is proud to share them with her.”

Courtesy of Mary Katherine Backstrom

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Mary Katherine Backstrom. Mary’s book Mom Babble: The Messy Truth about Motherhood is available here. Follow Mary on Instagram here.  Submit your story here, and be sure to subscribe to our best love stories here.

Read more stories from Mary:

‘Mommy?’ she whispered. ‘Why wasn’t Daddy wearing his superhero mask?’ My heart fell into my stomach. I knew where this was leading.’: Mom says ‘our babies never had to question our superpowers until now’

‘Some days, I make myself the butt of the joke. I tell self-deprecating stories. Other days I wonder if I’ll only ever be the butt of the joke. Nothing more.’: Woman discusses ‘heights and the heartache’ of life

‘I was sick, and in survival mode. Holland was screaming, ‘DO IT AGAIN DO IT AGAIN!’ Then, I heard thumpthumpTHUD KURPLUNK!!’: Mom says to remember ‘we have to count to ten’

‘We gave each other a list of people we were allowed to marry if one of us died.’: Woman admits she threatened to ‘haunt’ husband if he ever remarried, now encourages him to ‘keep on living’

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