“Gather round loud ones. I need all of you who lay awake at 2 a.m., filled with worry about some random thing you have said or done, to listen up.
Coming out of quarantine living has made me as awkward as ever. That is just a fact. You could ask any one of the strangers I have randomly talked to in the past weeks… at least I’ve been wearing a mask in most instances, so they can’t see my flaming cheeks when I realize I’ve said something weird.
I slowed down enough at the roundabout yesterday that I felt like I had a connection with an elderly couple walking their dog on the side of the road. So, of course, I yelled, ‘You’re doing great. Go for it!’ Go. For. It. What does that even mean? Oh, my word. The kids asked, ‘Who was that?’ When I replied, ‘I have no idea,’ they were both mortified and not surprised. I do these things on the regular. And, I clearly have affirmations to hand out that have no place to go.
So, I’ll give them to us now.
Here it is. You are needed in our world. And, not only because you make me feel better about things like saying ‘I love you’ at the end of my conversation with the guy calling to set up my cable. It’s because you’re just YOU. And, you’re honest ‘YOUness’ comes out in all the ways. That honesty is a gift.
It took me way too long to make peace with this gift, I fear.
But, we are as God made us. Remember this, even when you find people looking at you strangely because you are raising your arms and cheering loudly after you find the receipt in your purse you needed for that return at Home Depot. Or, when you’re busting a move and dancing your cart down the aisle because the grocery store is playing all your favorite 80’s tunes. Or, when a coworker asks how you’ve been and you launch into all the details of what is going on, and then walk away thinking, ‘Why do I not just say fine like a normal human?’
When you find yourself at work with your sweater inside out, or when you reach for a hug from someone you barely know mid-pandemic, and then jump back apologizing awkwardly… know I am with you.
Loud laughers who get the side-eye from people… we are just fun. Cannot be helped. Snort laughing is just a bonus of being us. Our voices carry across time and space, and everyone knows when we are in the room, whether we want them to or not. Quiet is not always easy for us.
Embrace the fact you will undoubtedly share your life story with way too many people, but know for a few of them, it will mean the world.
And, when you cry tears looking at someone else’s baby, and that someone else is no one you’ve ever met… it’s okay. And, it’s okay that you stop and tell them how precious their child is, how you miss little feet and fingers, and they are the luckiest to be pushing that stroller. You might be making a tired someone’s day.
Friends, if you feel like you are too much, say too much, take up too much space, are too awkward or loud, or you share too much, just stop that thinking right now. Especially at 2 a.m., because you need your sleep.
Know I am right there, and you will always have a place at God’s table, so there is just no need to agonize. Or rather, I’ll sit and agonize with you at that table, over the crazy things we do.
God made you OVERFLOWING, so sometimes you will overflow onto those around you. You are sharing all your goodness with the world, and that is an amazing thing. Keep doing it. You are not made to go quietly into the night, so do not even try.
It would be a shame for the world to have one drop less of you.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Hiding in the Closet with Coffee by Amy Betters-Midtvedt. Follow Amy on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
Read more from Amy here:
‘Today I wore a mask to Target with lipstick underneath. It’s automatic, and I keep forgetting about the mask.’: Woman says she is wearing a mask to protect others, ‘It is not living in fear, it is siding with science’
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