‘I scrub everyone’s crap in the toilet bowl and cook dinner every night, but my husband scrapes vomit out of the car seat and takes out the trash.’: Woman explains ‘marriage is not a competition’

“Marriage is realizing (finally) that our tasks are not a competition.

There’s no need to add up tally marks for what you do…because marriage is a team.

I’ll admit, I used to grumble things that begin with the phrase, ‘Why am I the only one who…sweeps, wipes the counters, sanitizes the sinks, cleans the windows.’

But after years of marriage, I realized by paying so much attention to what I was doing, I was overlooking what my husband was doing.

Turns out—it’s a lot.

I’m not the only one in this house who’s the cat’s meow, and it takes the both of us to make this house purr.

Just because I scrub everyone’s crap in the toilet bowl doesn’t make me a hero—because a couple weeks ago, my husband spent the night scraping vomit out of the car seat.

Just because I cook dinner every night, doesn’t mean I’m better than my husband—a husband who does the dishes every night and takes out the trash.

Marriage is appreciating the little things your partner does—like changing the batteries in the beeping smoke alarm in the middle of the night while you stay put in the cozy warm bed.

But if you’re too busy keeping score, you’ll miss the helpful stuff your partner does, too.

Like how he loads the car with the suitcases you packed for vacation—fitting them in like a real-life Tetris game.

You realize it’s not about keeping score—because over time, you’ve honed your own roles, which yes, are separate, but that’s okay.

Like the fact that your spouse knows that actually finishing your morning coffee can quite literally make or break everyone’s day, so he’ll tackle getting the kids their breakfast.

After more than a few years of marriage, you finally realize you’re just wasting time when you keep score—and there is too much stuff to be done to waste time on that.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Angela Anagnost-Repke, and originally appeared here. You can follow her journey on Facebook. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more from Angela here:

‘They weren’t just born to rock the boat, they were born to build a new one. Strong-willed kids are a lot, but the world needs them.’: Mom to ‘tiny torpedo’ says strong-willed kids ‘will always be worth the struggle’

‘If Uncle Joe talks too much politics, don’t invite him. If sending your kids trick-or-treating will give you too much anxiety, stay home.’: Empath urges ‘give yourself permission to take care of yourself’

‘No, you can’t play with us.’ I never would’ve dreamed my 6-year-old daughter would already shed this many tears. She just wants to fit in.’: Mom teaches daughter ‘self-worth’ in wake of bullying

‘When marriage gets hard, I picture myself old. Grayed hair, shriveled little body, with feet difficult to put in front of the other.’: Woman says ‘our love will be the greatest accomplishment of our lives’

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