No One Talks About The Messy Parts Of Miscarriage

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Disclaimer: This story contains details of miscarriage that may be triggering to some.

“No one talks about the messy parts of miscarriage.

No no one talks about the painful details.

No one talks about the cramping, the labor, the bleeding, the postpartum hormones raging – all without a sweet snuggly baby as a reward.

No one talks about the ‘products of miscarriage.’ The baby that comes out of you, just as it would full grown… only much, much smaller. The placenta. The blood.

The horrendous pain and wearing of what feels like diapers 24/7 for days or even weeks.

No one talks about what you should do with the tiny, perfectly formed body you just birthed.

If it’s under a certain ‘gestational age,’ it’s left up to you. Do you bury it? Do you cremate? Do you toss it in the garbage?! Do you flush if it landed in the toilet?

What do you do?! And why doesn’t any one tell you these are decisions you will have to make? Why doesn’t anyone speak up?

No one should have to make a decision like that in the moment of extreme emotion, trauma, and pain.

No one should have to look back and wish they had done something differently. Wished they had known there were options. We need to do things differently.

When I was pregnant with my oldest, and especially after his labor and postpartum, I remember thinking, ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?’

And here I am again. On the other side, wondering, ‘Why did no one ever tell me it would be like this?’

So, I’m here. I’m standing up. If you ever find yourself in this horrible place… reach out to me.

I will share the messy parts, the hard parts, the important decisions and moments of grief, pain and healing to come.

I will speak up.”

Courtesy of Annalise Ree Washburn

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Annalise Ree Washburn, and originally appeared here. You can follow their journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more stories about miscarriage here:

‘It doesn’t matter if you’re white, black, brown, or yellow. If you’re healthy or unhealthy. Single, married, or divorced.’: Woman urges ‘miscarriage does not discriminate’

‘I told the nurse, ‘Tie my tubes. I’m done, I don’t ever want to do this again!’ I begged my fiancé to find another woman. ‘I just can’t do it, I’m sorry.’: Woman births rainbow baby after still birth, 3 miscarriages

‘She told me her breasts were sore and her period was late. ‘But I can’t get pregnant. I think there’s something else going on.’: Woman urges ‘if your friend has a miscarriage, don’t pretend it didn’t happen’

‘He had ‘no idea’. I waddled up the driveway with terror of dropping my insides out on the cement.’: Woman recounts emotional miscarriage, ‘My husband was pale, quiet’

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