Please Stop Asking Women When They’re Having Babies

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“PSA: Stop asking women when they’re having babies!

Today, I literally had to hold the tears in while my lips quivered under my mask (glad I was wearing one) while someone said to me:⁠

‘When are you gonna start having babies? Your sisters keep having them… when’s your turn?!’

I froze, and stuttered, ‘Uhhh, eventually…’⁠

You see…to some, it’s just a simple question you ask your friends and family.

But to others, it’s so much more than that.

It’s feelings of hurt, frustration, fear, and anxiety.

And honestly, it just makes most people uncomfortable when you ask them.⁠

There are MANY reasons why they may not be pregnant.

Did you know? 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.

It’s gut wrenching when someone says, ‘When’s there gonna be a bun in the oven?’ There was, but now they’re in Heaven.

Did you know? 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility.

Imagine trying month after month to conceive, and having someone ask you when the babies are coming.

Did you know? It just may not be their time, yet.

They may wanna have those babies so so badly, but they know in 1 or 2 years, the timing will be better.

Did you know? Some women don’t wanna have babies!

AND THAT’S OKAY! But how uncomfortable would you be in that situation?⁠

So, coming from someone who has experienced a miscarriage and is struggling with infertility…PLEASE, stop asking that damn question!

If you’re concerned when or if your friend or family member is going to be starting a family, think about them! And if you’re the praying type, lift them up.

That may just be exactly what they need.”

Woman trying to get pregnant takes real, raw photo of her crying in the car
Courtesy of Devan Ferrer

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Devan Ferrer and originally appeared here. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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