‘I don’t know who needs to hear this, but take your freaking pill.’: Woman battling mental illness shares sweet reminder ‘you deserve to feel sunshine’

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“I don’t know who needs to hear this tonight, but hey:

Take your freaking pill.

(Your anti-depressant. Your SSRI. Your anti-anxiety med.)

You know, whatever pill you begrudge having to take?

Yah. That one.

Take it, please.

You deserve to be healthy.

You deserve to feel sunshine.

You deserve joy.

You deserve a brain that doesn’t sucker punch you.

And yes, I know it’s kind of a pain.

I also know some days you might feel strong enough to do without it.

But that little pill isn’t for the good days, my love.

And don’t you remember the bad days?

Those days when the storm clouds gather.

When energy leaks out of your body like someone pulled the drain.

When brushing your teeth feels like a marathon and sunshine is offensive and even the most joyful noises of your household sounds like a million bees in your head…

I remember those days.

And that’s why *I* take the pill.

One day at a time, one refill at a time, one season at a time, I take the pill.

You see, sometimes sunshine tastes like sour chalk and has to be washed down with water.

Sometimes God’s biggest miracles come in orange cylindrical bottles.

Sometimes your very salvation is written on a prescription pad, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Fight the good fight with me.

Stay in the sunshine.

Vulnerability is courageous as hell, and it takes so much courage to admit you need this.

Warrior on, my friend. You aren’t alone.

Take your freaking pill.

I’m sure as heck taking mine.


woman looking at her medication ready to take it
Courtesy of Mary Katherine Backstrom

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Mary Katherine Backstrom. Mary’s new book Holy Hot Mess: Finding God in the Details of this Weird and Wonderful Life is available here. Follow Mary on Instagram here.  Submit your story here, and be sure to subscribe to our best stories here.

Read more from Mary Katherine here:

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