“Don’t call my sons ‘heartbreakers’ please. I know they’re super cute, but I am not raising heartbreakers. I am raising heart cultivators.
Aren’t we bored with the heartbreaker?
The heartbreaker I imagine is emotionally unavailable. Women and men are conquests. Relationships are dispensable. His emotional literacy is low, and he doesn’t know how to sustain intimacy.
I want more for my sons than a nonchalant, debonair approach to romance. I want them to cultivate deep engagement with their own heart and to grow authentic intimacy in their romantic lives. Let’s put that on a baby onesie.
I am not raising heartbreakers.
I am raising people who care for the hearts of others AND who tune into the frequency of their own heart. Heart listeners, heart celebrators, heart activators, heart seekers, heart connectors.
Our boys need more options than the stock characters of Boring Nice Guy and Hot Heartbreaker. We need to reinvigorate the language around intimacy and masculinity.
Boys have emotional needs. Boys desire love and connection. Boys can learn to communicate their feelings in constructive ways that help build robust relationships.
Soft heart, open heart, strong heart. That’s what I hope for my boys. I want their hearts to be touched by the suffering, the joy, and the beauty of the world.
Masculinity can come from the heart. Let’s raise men who move through the world with their hearts forward. We all deserve better than the heartbreaker.”
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This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Catherine of Unsilenced Woman. You can follow her journey on her blog and Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
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