“I felt perpetually punished for existing. I was barred from running, then from even walking. I realized if I stayed this way, I would die.”
- Love What Matters
- Image
“I felt perpetually punished for existing. I was barred from running, then from even walking. I realized if I stayed this way, I would die.”
“Not everyone is going to like you, and it has nothing to do with you.”
“If your ultimate goal is to love a child and create a family, it won’t matter when you finally have the child you were meant to have all along.”
“When she was losing weight, it was because I tried to force breastfeeding too long. When she couldn’t bring her hands together, it was because I had swaddled her longer than I should’ve. When she couldn’t crawl, it was because I didn’t do enough tummy time.”
“I felt the right side of my body get heavy. My knee gave out, and a lightheaded feeling like a strong high took over. But I was convinced I must be okay.”
“I ended up getting pregnant with Josh’s baby in late October. I remember Josh looking at me once we read the pregnancy test and he asked, ‘What will Riley think of me?’ I was completely heartbroken. I couldn’t believe he would say those words to me. What about me, what about our baby?”
“My heart was shattered the day I was released from the hospital without my son. I prayed my sweet boy would be in caring hands.”
“In my eyes, once I gave birth, Josh would see his son and remember the love he had for me. When Josh left the hospital the day Riley was born, it ripped my heart out. This was confirmation that the family I had always pictured was not going to happen.”
“Even the tooth fairy is part of the mental load I carry. The behind-the-scenes of motherhood that no one sees, only expects. You see, when I say everything falls on me, I mean it.”
“I looked around and took inventory of the couples we once knew. The ones we shared drinks with. That we laughed with. That we played pool with. And they were all still doing all of the things, sitting with the people they love. And I was sitting with a memory.”