“‘You are a bad mom.’
That’s what I was called today.
It doesn’t matter how many times someone tells you, ‘You’re a good mother,’ you won’t always believe it, but it takes one person to say you’re crap, for you to believe with certainty you are.
One person to shoot you a look when you pick up your phone for one second at the park.
One person to stare at you when your child is throwing a tantrum.
One person to comment on your kids’ screen time.
One person to look at you like you’re a monster if you jokingly call your kids assholes, after a day of them being assholes.
Not so friendly advice from a relative about feeding your kids nuggets.
When you go and lose patience and snap, and your inner critic tells you, ‘You’re the worst person in the world.’
Rock up to school drop off in slippers and a dressing gown only to have someone rant about the way you dress in their PTA group.
But if we measured all of that, against good parenting, well f–k me, we would all be sh—y ones.
Because there’s no parent in the world who hasn’t succumbed to an iPad or a phone, not one person who hasn’t said ‘FFS’ under their breath, not one person who hasn’t held their phone while pushing their kid on the swing, not one who hasn’t lost it after a long day.
None of those things make you a bad parent. None. And if I listened to that person, I could have easily wallowed in those feelings and felt depressed and doubt myself.
Doubt the times I hold my child’s overwhelming feelings and keep them safe.
Doubt the times I have loved them, kept them safe, nurtured them, clothed them, fed them, played with them, made them laugh, made them happy, gave them the best of me, let them sleep with their toes in my eyeballs.
Doubt that when you haven’t slept and they need you to be there for them when they’re sick, you don’t second guess it.
Doubt when you are struggling internally that you still show up.
Doubt that love… that love you have that, when their heart breaks over a trivial thing like little Georgie doesn’t want to play with me today, it breaks yours too.
So, am I bad mom? No.
Are you a bad mom? No. You are incredible.
They got you, for the long haul, all of you. The imperfect and perfect, and you will love and support them till the day you die.
Even on days you break, you get that glue mama and you put yourself back together for your family and your child gets you whole.
That’s love, that’s beautiful, that’s a good mother.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza, where it originally appeared. Follow Laura on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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