Rebecca Balfe is a former editor for Love What Matters. She resides in NYC, owning and rescuing adorable cats. She is an avid Lupus fighter and advocate.
‘We pulled up to the entrance. I got out of the car. ‘Mom, I’m gay.’ Puzzled, she said, ‘Why are you telling me this now?’ Young man’s harrowing experience coming out to his family
“It felt like I was living a double life. ‘Let’s talk about it more tonight at home, okay?’ I said ‘okay’, and shut the door. Half an hour later, she texted me.”
‘Why am I doing this?’ I couldn’t run at the park or playground. I hid my pain from my parents for years. When I spoke to them, they were shocked.’: Man surprises parents with life-changing decision
“I was nervous but excited. I didn’t want to say no to a challenge. I was determined to train for the marathon, even though I’m convinced the universe was trying to stop me. Even if I needed to walk or crawl, I was crossing that line!”
‘I sobbed as my husband picked up. He knew immediately it was a ‘no.’ We made plans of all the ways I’d ‘surprise’ him with a pregnancy announcement. This call was NOT part of our plan.’
“’Katie, is now an okay time to talk?’ It was our IVF coordinator. ‘Unfortunately, I don’t have very good news.’ I choked back tears, and thanked her. He had a total of 12 sperm. My husband hugged me and apologized. It was heartbreaking. Our doctor grabbed my hand. I looked at her in disbelief.”
‘Our birth mother had disappeared. It was alarming. I felt sick. It was very close to her delivery date. We anxiously awaited the call. This frightened me. We were in complete shock.’
“When we got the sonogram picture of the baby, it finally felt real. To see this tiny treasure inside of a tummy was so surreal. My husband and I were in contact with her weekly. Then, complete silence. My heart started pounding. It was like someone punched me in my stomach.”
‘After I delivered, my doctor handed me my girl. I did not see it. In all of my medical training, I could not tell. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. She was PERFECT.’
“I am a Southern girl and a doctor and I’m used to having it all together. I turned everyone away from the hospital that day, including my sister. I thought I had ruined our lives. I thought I had done something so terrible my husband and child were being punished.”
‘The doctor said it so nonchalantly, ‘Your baby has this.’ I looked at my husband. ‘What’s that mean?’ We were not ready for this diagnosis. The tears poured out. How is this happening AGAIN?’
“We were pressured over and over. ‘Get an abortion. Your time is running out. You know there’s a deadline on these things. He’ll be just laying still forever.’ At every appointment, this is what we were told.”
‘As I lay on the operating table, I heard the ONE word I dreaded. They wrapped him up, brought him over. I began to sob. ‘How can my heart be rejoicing and breaking at the same time?!’
“The room began spinning. I was thrilled to have my baby but terrified by the words used to describe him. Unlike his older brother’s birth, not one person came to see him. No flowers were delivered. No one knew what to say, so they said nothing. On that day, my life became defined by two words. Before and after.”
‘The expectant mom is moving forward with another adoptive family.’ We had the car seat and crib ready. We spent days holding her precious baby girl. Then, we got the call. I was heartbroken.’
“There was a sinking feeling. We loved this little girl and her parents so much. We thought it was everything we dreamt of. It’s the most confusing feeling to grieve the loss of something we never really had while at the same time being happy for this family we fell in love with.”
‘I plan to finally tell my homophobic parents I’m gay and transgender. By that time, they can’t do anything about it!’
“I asked him if he would come to the hideout so we could talk. No adult knew about it. He met me there, and I told him I was gay. ‘I don’t want to date a guy, that’s disgusting!’ I was devastated.”
‘If I’d arrived 15 minutes later, I’d have been dead. I woke in hospital after almost drinking myself to death on an empty stomach, in reaction to my relationship ending.’: Woman thrives after no longer allowing eating disorder to ‘take away my voice’
“The look on my parents’ faces when I asked them what had happened and why I was there, broke my heart. I never thought I’d be one of those anorexics or bulimics who ‘took it too far.’ I started seeing glimpses of what it was like to feel happy without feeling hollow.”