Rebecca Balfe is a former editor for Love What Matters. She resides in NYC, owning and rescuing adorable cats. She is an avid Lupus fighter and advocate.
‘The doctor said, ‘The parents need to understand there is no chance of their daughter having a meaningful life.’ I thought, ‘My daughter has meant more to me in the last 2 days than you will EVER mean to me.’
“What would our daughter have to do to be meaningful? Would she have to talk? Would she have to be able to solve math problems or perform in the school play? Graduating? Getting a job? Getting married? At what point would the doctor say, ‘Ok, you are meaningful now.”
‘He was cute, and I was curious. When I read the message, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. ‘NO REAL MAN IS GOING TO WANT TO BE WITH A WOMAN WHO DOES THIS.’
“I started believing the lies. I had no business online dating – it was for people who have more freedom as a single person. I mean, I have a minivan! A minivan doesn’t exactly scream, ‘I’m dating material here,’ you know? What guy would want me?”
‘Can you come to the hospital right now to meet your daughter?’ It was relatively late on a Friday night, but we immediately recognized the number. We fought hard for Grace.’
“Less than 45 minutes after that call, directly from the hospital, she came home for the first time. It felt a bit chaotic and strange at the same time.”
‘I kept hearing questions, ‘Should we keep resuscitating the baby? Mom, can we wheel you closer?’ I resisted coming closer; it meant goodbye.’: Woman pregnant with twins after infertility loses son after early labor
“Nurses and doctors flooded the bedside of a tiny precious human. My little boy. Alex stood off to the side letting the team work.”
‘I cried and wept uncontrollably because of how he was going to be made fun of, and thought of as less or not worthy. I never want my child to feel that hurt and pain. The sadness was so deep, it crushed my soul.’
“I know something about one of the children you don’t. You see two children holding hands and playing on a playground. Nothing special, just cute as usual. Children playing like they usually do, like they should be doing. But it is so much more than just that.”
‘Casey had no idea what was happening to the woman he married. He thought I was no longer happy in our marriage. All he wanted was the woman he married. I could not do this one thing.’
“I became very closed off and did not want to communicate with my husband, the one I was supposed to be sharing my life with. I felt like I was letting him down, when in reality all he wanted from me was the woman he married.”
Army Wife Battles Lupus And Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome To Become Mom Of 2
“Even on my sickest days, my husband is assuring me I’m an amazing mother to our children, and that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.”
‘For some of us, especially us mothers, there are certain minutes where time stands still and we just know we’ll remember every detail surrounding that specific memory.’
“There are many of us invisible parents, with only children we hold in our hearts rather than our arms. We don’t have any other living children to help ease the pain and ache, but let me assure you, our motherhood and fatherhood is valid and important, and our children’s lives matter.”
‘If I took all of those pills, maybe I would go to sleep and never wake up.’ I scrubbed myself raw. I couldn’t get clean.’: Woman discovers husband’s multiple affairs, ‘I felt dirty’
“I got a call from my best friend’s husband. It was clear he didn’t really know how to say it. ‘If it were me I would want to know.’ My hands and feet got hot and sweaty. It was so many people… so many of my friends were involved. I couldn’t trust anyone. All I could do that week was sob, hysterically sob and compulsively take showers.”
‘When I opened my eyes my husband was as pale as the floor, sitting on the other side of me, breathing heavily, sweating, and staring at the floor.’
“The doctor inserted her torture device. I remember cursing loudly and then profusely apologizing, as the pain was excruciating. I covered my face and wanted to scream. During this time I felt Nick’s hand fall away. He was on the brink of passing out.”