“Being a parent in 2020 is something, let me tell you.
Behind the scenes of all those, ‘My baby’s first day of big school’ photos is a parent losing her FREAKING MIND researching in-depth for hours about lunch and recess foods.
I have spent 3 hours–nay, more–looking up bento boxes, protein to carbohydrate to sugar ratios for those little compartments, and how to make the food look like a happy koala in a tree, with little love heart toothpicks coming out of it and watermelon heart-shaped eyes, all to prove to my child he is not unloved because all the other kids have these extravagant lunches. His mother just wants to go back to the good old days of being a parent in ‘91, when she got a soggy tomato sandwich wrapped half-assed in cling wrap in a paper bag. She got what she got and she didn’t get upset.
Who started this stuff? Who sets the standard like this? Stop it.
Because of you, I have to cut a sandwich into a turtle, make pretzels from scratch, and make an organic, double chocolate chip muffin that’s hidden with vegetables and mixed in with fairy tears with a side of bliss balls ladened with my kidneys.
Who decided parenting had to be this complicated? Are we purposely trying to drive ourselves crazy? And there’s no going back. This is it now. I got mini packets of chips IF I WAS LUCKY and LCM BARS WERE A LUXURY. Now I have spent my week’s wages on cooking utensils, character cookie cutters, and I am harvesting rice on the full moon and rubbing organic ocean fruit on homegrown cane sugar balls to make fricken LCM bars.
But I’ll do it because I know the way I’m going to rock up to the school to drop off my kid looking like a disheveled orangutan will be enough to embarrass him for life. He better have a nice lunch. AT LEAST.
If you need me, I’ll be down the Pinterest rabbit hole, taking out a small loan for stackable self-heating spaghetti tubs.
Let’s collectively lower the standards, people. Think about it. You’re only hurting yourself.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza, where it originally appeared. Follow Laura on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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