‘I am no longer the one he looks for in a crowd, the first person he turns to when things get tough. He loves me, but I also know he loves her more.’: Boy mom urges ‘love him while you are still first’

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“If you are a boy momma, this one is for you.

You always hear about a girl’s daddy ‘giving his daughter away’ on her wedding day.

I had never thought much about the mommas and their sons.

I don’t have any brothers so it never really crossed my mind.

But y’all mommas give away something too.

Something just as precious.

Something I knew I would never get back.

I gave away being the one he hugs and kisses

I gave away being the one he looks for in a crowd.

I gave away being the first person he turns to when things get tough.

I gave away being the one he makes laugh in the middle of the day.

I gave away being his number one girl.

I gave away a piece of my heart.

I gave away my son.

son's wedding day where he is getting married
Courtesy of Alyssa Kinchen Becnel

Deep down I know he will always love me but I also know he loves her more.

He loves her more than his momma and that’s okay.

That’s how I knew he had found the one.

But isn’t that what we want?

We want them to marry a girl who they will put first even if it means we become second.


Love him while you are still first.

Kiss his sweet baby face and linger in those lanky teenage hugs.

Drive him to school even when he is grumpy and doesn’t say a word to you.

Listen when he needs to vent and blow off steam.

Love on his friends.

Bring the Motrin to school for the 100 thousandth time.

He may have a headache OR he may just want to get out of class and chat with you for a minute.

Sit next to his hospital bed even though he screwed up.

Soak up every minute under those Friday night lights.

Love him, forgive him, and forgive yourself for the things you didn’t get right.

Because one day, you will give him away…

You will stand and watch him give his heart to the love of his life.

You will dance and he will say the sweetest things about who he has become because of you.

He will hug you tight and it will feel a little bit like a goodbye.

You will become his second best girl and it will be so dang HARD.”

mother son dance at her son's wedding
Courtesy of Alyssa Kinchen Becnel
mom holding her son close on his wedding day for the photographer
Courtesy of Alyssa Kinchen Becnel

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Alyssa Kinchen Becnel, and originally appeared here. You can follow her journey on Facebook. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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