“As the weeks edge closer to delivery day, I find myself conflicted with emotions. The joy and love I feel for this unborn child is genuine. But, child loss has broken me. This baby has already proved to help me heal, but she will never be a replacement for the son and daughter who died in my arms.”
“Texting away driving 55 mph on the highway with your babies on board. I was close enough for you to swerve into me. My babies were on board too, and my blood just boiled.”
“I spent far too many moments considering all the ways I could be with my son, in whatever afterlife he exists in. I even shut my own husband out. I was done living like this. I vowed to do better. I don’t know how strong I can stay. I am fragile. But I do know, I am trying.”
“I see you. Scrolling through your phone, measuring yourself to the highlight reel of friends and family. Looking at the other mamas in school drop off and at work wondering how they make it look so easy. Can I be honest with you? It’s an illusion.”
“Everyone recognized me by pregnant belly, rather than by my face. I dealt with dirty looks and whispers in the hallways. In college, I got pregnant with my son. It wasn’t easy. I have been in abusive relationships, been days away from planning a wedding, only to find out I was ‘only an option.’ I wanted to give up, on everything. But I was strong for my children.”
“My doctor told the story of another mom’s heartache to scare me into doing what she wanted me to do. Why was she pushing termination on me SO hard? And why the heck was she calling to tell me over the phone?! Not ONCE did she apologize or say, ‘I’m so sorry.’ Instead, she told me how to parent.”
“All you need to say is, ‘You are safe. You are loved.’ Six words can free us from the prison of our minds. Please don’t walk away. Abandonment is what we wait for.”
“The last thing I remember was yelling for my mom. She raced up the stairs, only to be shocked. My tiny puppy had grabbed onto my sweater and was pulling with all of his might in the opposite direction to keep me from falling off the toilet and getting yet another concussion. If you talk to any dog mom they’ll tell you their dog is their world, but my dog GAVE me my world.”
“My heart immediately started beating out of my chest. ‘WHO? WHERE IS HE?!’ My head turned in every direction. ‘He left.’ Next came a flurry of questions. ‘Was it a tap? A pinch? A squeeze?’ She burst into tears. ‘A squeeze. It hurt A LOT, mama.’ My daughter doesn’t want to go to the playground anymore. She’s scared. I am LIVID.”
“It took everything in me not to cry.”
