“My son climbed onto the counter and got into some medication. This launched an investigation of abuse on me. The state caseworkers were trying to prove I purposely overdosed my son because he was ‘just too much for me.’ ‘Too much for me?!,’ I exclaimed, ‘These kids are everything to me.’ They replied, ‘We believe you’re too stressed from a recent divorce. We need to make sure you are safe for your children.’ I felt the fire consume me. It was all so much.”
“Why does this holiday season feel so weird? Maybe it’s because all I want to do is sit around and watch Christmas movies, but there’s always somewhere to be. Or maybe it’s because I’m so busy buying the things the stores are telling me I need to be busy buying that I’m not looking at the gifts right in front of me. Can we just…oh, I don’t know…stop? And breathe. And enjoy. And be with each other. THAT is where the holiday lives.”
“The lights went off. I was sure I’d see the whole neighborhood dark – it couldn’t just be MY house. I had a $1,500 credit on my electric bill after my husband died. I saw my neighbor’s Christmas display up and running, complete with a tiny robotic carolers singing, ‘Joy to the World,’ while my blow-up Santa lay lifeless in the front yard. ‘Can you just send the technician back?’ She was NOT having it.”
“I had thoughts of ’maybe something is wrong with me. Will I ever have another healthy pregnancy again?’ My doctor told us we could start trying again as soon as we felt ready. I slowly looked down. ‘Alex, there are TWO lines!’ We’d made it to the safe zone. ’I think this baby is going to be just fine, congratulations!’”
“To say I am jealous is an understatement. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I am extremely jealous. It’s just not fair. The going to see Santa Claus, throwing birthday parties – it all stings. Hearing what cool new toy they added to their Christmas list to Santa. My children have never cared about any of that.”
“My mom covered her mouth and ran out of the room with tears in her eyes as my brother sat next to me. I was dying. I took 30 more pills slowly, not realizing what was happening. I should have died, and I almost did.”
“He was sobbing. ‘Abigail…’ My heart dropped. ‘Dad, what the heck is going on?’ He responded, ‘I think your sister was arrested. She called and said the cops were after her. Then the call dropped. I haven’t heard from her since.’ She was last seen at the Denver International Airport. My dad escorted her to security where she was catching a plane to rehab. The reality of what happened hurts too much to face. I find myself getting so angry at her. She was so close. She was on the plane.”
“To the person from my hometown who started a rumor that I was on fertility drugs. To my youngest child’s doctor who asked the question I had been asked a million times. ‘First child?’ ‘Nope! 3rd child, first pregnancy!’ then had the gall to say, ‘but having your own is different, isn’t it?’”
“Every time he touched me, I cringed. I was so busy and obsessed with being a first-time mom, my son came first in every situation. We stopped going on dates, sex was non-existent. He sat me down and told me his needs. I brushed it off. After all, I’d just birthed a newborn! The last thing I wanted to do was have sex. Time went on and his needs went unfulfilled. Eventually, we became strangers who lived together.”
“A photo of my son with a shirt saying, ‘I Love My Gay Dads’ got me 500 messages from people telling me, ‘You’re disgusting.’ On time at an event, a mother yelled at me. ‘Don’t do this in front of your son…or whatever he is…can you even have kids?!’ Here I was, a stay-at-home Papa, completely devoted to raising my child, having to prove I had a right to do so. No matter what, I will always be there for him. We honor our son.”
