‘I slipped in the most dramatic fashion. All of us laughed. This wouldn’t have happened this time last year.’: Mom enjoys ‘beautiful moment’ after struggle to find right antidepressant

“The other day I walked to the park with my kids. I let them walk beside me, without any fear. I let them run and pick flowers, and we spent time together smelling them.

We played at the park and spent hours there. We played together with the rocks on the ground and swung on the swings.

And then… I was pushing my daughter on the swing, the ground was a bit muddy due to the rain a few days before, and as I went to pull on her safety strap on the swing, I slipped in the most dramatic fashion and fell on the ground.

And we laughed. All of us laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes.

A few months ago, I was on the wrong antidepressants. This time last year, I wasn’t on any.

None of this would have happened.
I would have rushed us to the park.
I would have watched the clock.
I wouldn’t have been present.

And if I fell over? I would have felt angry with myself, or embarrassed. I would have wanted to leave.
It’s not always like this, but the patience and the enjoyment can be few and far between, especially when your mind whirls like a washing machine. This is why I need antidepressants. The right ones. And now, I am on them.

Life is full of moments. Beautiful, singular moments depression and anxiety can rob you of.

I didn’t cause my own anxiety and depression. I don’t want to have it. I have had a lot of pain in my life that has led me here. I’m not angry with myself for being this way. I am, however, proud of myself for managing it proactively. Medication isn’t everything. I know I have to do other things to heal. Maybe I’ll need meds forever, or maybe I won’t. Only I know that.

There is no shame in needing help, in any form. None.
Life is full of beautiful, singular moments, and we all deserve to have them.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza. Follow Laura on Instagram here and Facebook here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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