“I don’t desire to be the best.
I’m fine with mediocrity, especially at this stage of my life.
I’m okay with being a less-than-stellar mom. I don’t bake homemade cookies. I’m awful at crafts. My anxiety often keeps me from taking them places alone.
But I get down in the floor and play dolls and Legos, and I make chocolate chip pancakes when they ask me to, so I’m really not so bad.
I’m okay with being a just-good-enough wife. I don’t always keep a tidy house. My dinners aren’t the envy of Wolfgang Puck. I don’t wash my hair for days, and I rarely wear anything other than athletic shorts and t-shirts.
But I love fiercely, and I do small things daily to show my husband that his needs still matter; that he still matters. All in all, I’d say I’m pretty decent at this wife thing.
I’m okay with being a just-good-enough friend. I don’t call as much as I could. I don’t visit as much as I should.
But I always answer the phone when it rings and offer up a listening ear and my best piece of advice. I love them to pieces, so that should count for something.
I’m okay with not wearing makeup every day, and not spending my mornings perfecting my hair. I’ve decided sleeping in, and baseball caps are more important to me than looking like Miss America.
I’m okay with not being where I thought I’d be at this point in my life in regard to my career. Sometimes life takes a detour, taking a little bit longer to reach the destination than you had in mind.
When I was younger, I wanted to be everything. Smartest, prettiest, funniest… I desired to be the total package.
I yearned to be the best possible version of myself.
Quite frankly, it was exhausting.
I don’t know why I was so desperate for perfection.
Maybe the world made me feel as though I wasn’t worthy. Or possibly, I simply projected that idea into my own head, not realizing that the world actually didn’t care one way or the other.
The older I get, the more I realize that I just need to be happy with who I am, what I am, and what I’m capable of.
The quest for perfection is completely unnecessary.
But the quest for total satisfaction with myself… now that’s everything. And I’m getting closer and closer with each passing day.
This point in life is pretty dang good. I’m just happy to still be breathing.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Jade North of Four Norths in the South. The article originally appeared here. Follow Jade on Instagram here. Submit your story here, and be sure to subscribe to our best love stories here.
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