‘I’ve lived a good life. You’ve given me everything.’ We didn’t see it coming.’: After losing husband to cancer, woman urges ‘pull your loved ones close’

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“‘I’m not going to walk my girls down the aisle,’ he said.

‘We can beat it again,’ I said. I was choking and suffocating all at the same time.

‘This time feels different,’ he said. ‘This isn’t admitting defeat. It’s acknowledging that God might have a different plan than we want,’ he said.

‘I think you need to position yourself. It’s your time,’ he said. ‘Because our family started with me, but it’s not going to end with me. It’s going to be someone else.’

No. No. No. This was merely a short storm on the sea. But it turned into hurricane, and no matter how we tried to hold on, it would not stop throwing us to and fro.

No matter how much we chose joy, the destruction still found us. No matter how we chose Him, death still came like a thief in the night and decimated our hearts. No matter how we boarded up the windows and the doors and covered every point of entry, it still got in.

Friends, if you’ve followed our journey even for one moment, hear my heart –

Please live your actual life. Please take the trip. Please pull your loved ones close. Please take the risk, eat the cake, do the thing. Please start the business, grow your family, follow your heart. Please live today like it’s the end – and then do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

We didn’t see it coming. But it still came.
We didn’t want it to come. But it still came. And then it came again. And it had no mercy.

‘I’ve lived a good life,’ he said to me three days later at the hospital. I lowered my head, looked at the floor, and willed myself to breathe. ‘It’s okay,’ he whispered. ‘You’ve given me everything.’

10 days later, we sat in the same hospital room. ‘Jesus has been showing me exactly what’s ahead for you,’ he said. ‘I think He’s telling me so I don’t have to worry about the 6 of you. I know what’s coming, I know who’s coming, and I know His plan is good. I’ll tell you soon,’ he told me. ‘For now, we wait. And we trust.’

So that’s what we did. We waited and we trusted. And, dear one, no matter what you’re facing right this moment, I know you can do the same. It’s hard, but you can wait. And you can trust. He knows what’s coming, and His plan for you is good. It is so.”

Woman holds hands with her husband dying of cancer while he lays in a hospital bed in black pajamas
Courtesy of Bethany Ashabraner

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Bethany Ashabraner. You can follow her journey on Instagram and Facebook. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribeto our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Bethany here:

‘I set the box of ashes on the couch. She gathered her blanket close, the first time she’d sit next to her Daddy without weeping.’: Widow shares heartfelt moment with daughter after losing husband

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