Just Because I Am Going Through My Own Struggles With Infertility Does Not Mean I Want To Be Excluded

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“I know from an outsider’s perspective it can be so incredibly difficult to determine someone else’s boundaries when they are going through infertility.

They don’t always know what to say, how to act, or even how to be supportive sometimes without overstepping the limits you have set for yourself.

You know they want to be there for you through it all, but it can be so hard for them to navigate how to go about doing so because they themselves have no idea what this is like or how it feels.

So instead, they find it easier sometimes to distance themselves from you and the circumstances because they truly do not know what else to do. They decide the best way to handle everything is by keeping you at arms length away from what they think could be possible ‘triggers,’ and as a result excluding you from those situations.

You know they mean well and their intentions here are in no way meant to be negative or spiteful, but at the same time it can still make you feel completely left out, and more so hurt for not being included.

But here’s the thing – just because I am going through my own struggles with infertility does not mean I want to be excluded.

Yes, that baby shower or birthday party may be a little too much for me to handle at times, but I want to be the one who gets to decide. I want to be the one who gets to make the decisions when it comes to what I am comfortable with and where my boundaries lie.

I fully understand it can be so difficult for someone outside of this community to know where those lines are drawn when it comes to what is helpful and what is hurtful (and everyone is different there), but regardless, I just want them to see I know me best.

I want to be the one who gets to choose what I can handle and what I cannot, and whatever that may look like, I just hope they can be supportive at the end of the day.”

Woman battling infertility looks somber in red and black shirt while holding a sign about being excluded from events due to her infertility battle
Courtesy of Mackenzie Eckinger

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Mackenzie Eckinger of Ohio and originally appeared here. You can follow her journey on Instagram here and here. Submit your own story  hereand be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Mackenzie here:

To My Future Babies, I Will Continue To Write Our Story

I’ve Been Pregnant Eight Times, But I Still Don’t Know What It Feels Like To Be Pregnant

I Want To Conceive, But I Don’t Want To Keep Trying

Another Month Has Gone By And We Still Aren’t Pregnant

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