‘Last night, I was absolutely certain my child was taken from me.’: Mom struggling with postpartum anxiety says ‘it’s invisible to you, but it’s very real to us’

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“You can’t see it.
It’s invisible to the naked eye.
We don’t wear it on our T-shirt next to the ‘mama‘ symbol.
We don’t tell people because we don’t want to explain something we don’t even understand ourselves.

But it’s there. All the time. When we’re cooking dinner while simultaneously singing nursery rhymes to the baby. When we’re packing lunches, putting the kids to bed, playing hide and seek and doing arts and crafts. It’s always there.
But we suppress it because it’s part of our survival instinct.

Then, when nobody is watching – that’s when we break. When we’re in the car alone, taking a shower for the first time in a week or when the house is silent, the kids are sleeping and we’re supposed to be sleeping too, that’s when we cry.

It’s silent to the world around us, but it’s loud and clear in our heads. We know our thoughts are irrational, but they’re there and we can’t seem to stop them.

We smile and pretend like we’re okay because how could you ever explain to someone that last night you were absolutely certain your child was taken from you – when in fact they’re safely in your arms.

The thing about postpartum anxiety that makes it so misunderstood is it’s invisible to you – but it’s very real to us.”

Mom battling postpartum anxiety holds her newborn while fighting back tears
Courtesy of Terri-Ann Perras

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Terri-Ann Perras of Caledon, Ontario. You can follow her journey on Instagram, TikTok, and her blog. Submit your own story here. Be sure to  subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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