“I nailed this homeschooling thing for exactly 3 minutes before crazy started coming out of my mouth.
There’s only ONE of me and FOUR of you. BE PATIENT!
Is THIS how you act at SCHOOL?!
Speaking of four of you WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?
Because he’s a BABY! Watching Frozen 2 IS HIS HOMEWORK.
I AM trying to explain it to you. But you’re also trying to explain it to me. Yet you’re the one who asked me to explain it to you!
THE ANSWER IS 4. JUST WRITE DOWN 4. LIFE WILL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU LATER.
NO, I’M NOT YELLING.
WIPE YOUR DIRTY HANDS before you touch my computer!
Orchestra is CANCELED. You cannot ‘play’ your violin indoors until real school resumes.
Yes, you can ‘play’ your violin outside. It will keep the bears at a safe distance.
RECESS TIME! You have extended recess. All doors to get inside will be locked until 4 pm. Consider it a self-quarantine. Stay 30 feet away from me at all times.
Teachers, we miss you! We love you. I am so sorry for all the things my kids are. I don’t know how you manage 30 of them in a class and they’re not even your own kids. I don’t even want to deal with the 4 that belong to me. They have so many needs. All at the same time. When school resumes, I’ll bring you gifts of Starbucks and lunch and Adderall and Xanax and Tylenol. Once they’re all back in stock.”
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