“I feel the grumble in my throat.
The hoarseness as I’m asked for something else.
And I wanna scream.
But I don’t.
Because they’re only kids.
But it’s so hard when you’re exhausted when you’ve not stopped all day and you’ve worked, you’ve played, you’ve sat with them, and read them books, and patched up boo boo’s, and connected legos, and cooked, and cleaned, and every other damn thing.
And it’s bedtime and you just want to check the f*ck out.
To wash the urine from your underwear because you sneezed too hard after dinner.
Just a minute to breathe,
To catch up on a text,
Or a TV show.
And at the end of the day, you lack empathy.
But you gotta have it,
Because they’re just kids.
They’re your kids.
Their life literally revolves around your existence and what a privilege that is to have.
And it’s so hard not to be an asshole to them.
Because it’s edging closer to 9 and you can’t stay up past 10 without your eyes closing in the middle of your favorite show.
It’s so hard to just hold it in because they’re just kids and you remember what it was like to be one of them.
And you thank god for your antidepressants and anti-anxieties because without them you’d be screaming so loud.
And eventually, they fall asleep.
Their little eyes flutter and they dream of all the things you did for them.
The things you did with them.
And my god, at that moment do you remember it’s worth it.
The hard… it’s worth it.
Really it is.
Every minute is worth it.
Even those minutes you hate.
You survived another night.
You made it.
And you’re going to ace it tomorrow, I promise.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
Read more from Laura:
‘She decided at 5 a.m. that she wanted eggs. I was ready to snap. ‘Well if you can’t hack it then you shouldn’t have had kids.’: Mom suffering from sleep deprivation says ‘it’s okay for a mom to say she’s struggling’
‘I was staring at my massive basket of pre-kids clothes I refuse to throw out. ‘My body size can change.’: Woman struggling with body positivity says ‘I don’t exist to fit clothes, they exist to fit me’
Do you know someone who could benefit from reading this? SHARE this story on Facebook with family and friends.