‘She decided at 5 a.m. that she wanted eggs. I was ready to snap. ‘Well if you can’t hack it then you shouldn’t have had kids.’: Mom suffering from sleep deprivation says ‘it’s okay for a mom to say she’s struggling’

“We made eggs at 5 a.m. She wanted eggs. After talking to me half the night, she decided at 5 a.m. that she wanted eggs.

I kinda wanted to kill her. (Not literally.)

My postnatal anxiety, depression, and rage always circled around sleep deprivation.

It’s a torture technique, sleep deprivation. Because it sends you literally mad. Mothers all over the world are literally being tortured. Not intentionally, but they are. Imagine holding that all day and having loud screams and cries and demands while you’re a zombie. It doesn’t feel great, and then, of course, you’re met with guilt and confusion wondering if you’re doing this right?

And I guess when you ask or complain about it, you’re met with, ‘Well if you can’t hack it then you shouldn’t have had kids.’

I mean, calm down, Betty. How is that ever going to be helpful for someone who is feeling very vulnerable? I’ll give ya the hot tip, it ain’t.

The way you can help a mother facing sleep deprivation is if you have nothing nice to say, then scroll on or walk away. Offer some help instead.

It’s okay for a mother to say she’s struggling. Sleep deprivation can literally lead to postnatal depression and anxiety, even psychosis. Car accidents… there’s a lot at stake. She can hack it. She’s doing more than hacking it. She is pushing herself mentally and physically to the limits… hacking it is nothing. But doesn’t mean she isn’t feeling the side effects of it.

So, what am I doing today? While feeling like I’ve been kicked by Chuck Norris in the head?

I took deep breaths. I calmed myself down… and even though I wanted to snap at making eggs, I reminded myself it wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t my fault, and today if all we do is eat eggs, chocolate and whatever else is easy, watch TV and do very little, no cleaning and takeaway for dinner — then it’s okay! Excellent even, and I’m still doing a wonderful job.

As are you.

Tomorrow is a new day.”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza. Follow Laura on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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