“My second baby.
In so many ways I feel bad that I can’t give you exactly the amount of attention your sister got from me. I never had to make her wait for mama to pick her up, she never had to entertain herself on her play mat for very long, or have naps interrupted to take her to an older sister’s events.
I know you don’t mind, because you have never known any other way, but as a mama you want each of your kids to feel that same amount of love and attention.
The good news is you get a better mama right off the bat. Maybe that’s not fair to say, but in some ways it’s true.
You see, your sister paved the way. She taught me how to be a mama. Before her, I had an idea of what to do as a mother, but had no clue what I was doing. While it’s true I still have very little clue what the heck I’m doing most days, I have experience under my belt.
You get the mama who doesn’t fret over every single cry. You have the calm mama who has learned how to press the silence button on her anxiety when she feels it begin to creep up (for the most part). You get the mama who fearlessly sings songs to you at the top of her lungs, and talks to you all day about every little thing. Your sister got a nervous mama, who didn’t know how to talk to a baby, let alone sing to one!
You, my love, have the mama who knows how to calm your cries, how to bounce you to sleep, swaddle you in her arms.
No, you don’t get my undivided attention, and yes sometimes you have to wait a minute, but you get the best of me. You get a brand new part of my heart, a section that grew just for you.
You, my love, are making me a better mama day by day, making my better best.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Rachael Krupski of Long Island, NY. You can follow her journey on Instagram and her blog. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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