‘Y’all, I was too embarrassed to go to the car wash. ‘Everyone pick up their stuff.’ I just wasn’t willing to listen to my husband.’: Mom shares hilarious car wash fail

“Tomorrow we’re supposed to go on a day trip so I decided to clean out my car because honestly it was humiliating and I just wasn’t willing to listen to my husband explain that if ‘everyone just picked up their stuff when they went in the house it wouldn’t look like this’. Y’all, the man rides in his car alone 97% of the freaking time. No one, NO ONE ever has diarrhea in a car seat that shoots up their back and out the collar of their shirt in HIS car.

We were out running errands. When I loaded everyone up, I saw how truly bad it was, even by my standards. I was too embarrassed to go to the car wash, so I took 10 minutes to throw the coats and shoes into the trunk and gather half the trash, you know the big stuff. Basically, my car was too dirty to go to a car wash.

We get to the car wash where I took out a monthly membership under some ridiculous notion that my car would magically be cleaner if I paid a due.

I drove through the tunnel with the lights, biodegradable soap and all the brushes while we squealed about the imaginary giant octopus that was scrubbing away the filth. Honestly, I was starting to relax, this was a mistake.

I chose the vacuums as far away from other people as humanly possible, sure no one would notice the avalanche of crap that was about to fall out of my passenger side door. I was so very wrong.

Courtesy Katie Bryant

Up pulled a man in a light blue, flawless car with shinny headlights and no crumbs between the seats. He smiled at me and walked to his trunk which was empty except for a small caddy. He explained that he keeps it there for emergencies, EMERGENCIES which I am sure include a single bug on the windshield. In the caddy was a pair of cloth gloves, cotton swabs, soft cloths and special cleaners. He was showing me this perfect little caddy with these perfect little gloves that goes in his perfect little trunk when I started contemplating just getting back in and driving my mobile hoard home. I really thought about it, but my husband is going on this trip tomorrow and like I said I just don’t want to dish out all my patience tokens on that particular conversation at 8 a.m.

I pulled back the door and watched this man’s face go from Christmas cheer to #jesustakethewheel. It’s ok, whoever you are, I judge me too. Out falls *literal garbage*, roughly 11 sticks and 47 acorns, a single shoe, a sweater I am sure I’ve never seen before, enough Legos to build a plastic Trojan Horse and a pair of underwear (and that is just the first layer). The man didn’t stick around long enough to see me find the fossilized French fries, crusty lollipop sticks and stop up the vacuum with my toddler’s emergency pair of underwear. He had to go somewhere in that perfect little blue car to call CPS I am sure.

Courtesy Katie Bryant

So please know, if you don’t have your act completely together, if you have an area in your life where you consistently struggle, you are not alone. I’m here with you, driving a shame wagon, singing way too loud to Christmas music and acting like I need iced coffee every time I leave the house.

Solidarity sister hold your head high and check your shoes for wrappers before you get out next time.”

Courtesy Katie Bryant

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Katie Bryant, 31, of North Caroina. Follow Katie on Instagram here and Facebook here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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‘We nearly lost him today. I pulled off wrappers, started dishing them out. I gave it to him.’: Mom feels guilt for giving son Popsicle that ignited peanut allergy, ‘We’re just trying to keep our kid alive’

The window was stuck. ‘We’re going to get out of here, I need you to be brave. You can do this, I’m right here.’: Family adopts minimalists lifestyle after losing house in fire

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