3 Life-Changing Tips For Maintaining A Positive Mindset

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Courtesy of Zac Durant (via Unsplash)

Maintaining a positive mindset is important in so many ways and can apply to all areas of your life at any stage. Who knows, maybe reading this will encourage you to change your mindset, or at least start looking at situations in a different or more positive way. Here are three fundamentals to maintaining a positive mindset:

1. Change The Way We Think

Maintaining a positive mindset is very important. We could dig into the philosophy, psychology and even theory of mind, but to simplify it we could start by changing the way we think. Developing the tools and the skills we need to have emotional intelligence is very important.

Emotional intelligence is essential. This is our capacity to be aware and in control of our emotions; this allows us to develop a better understanding in knowing how to handle our interpersonal relationships empathetically and with good judgment. Say, for example, you’re driving down the street and someone cuts you off on the road, and to add insult to injury, you observed them display an obscene and inappropriate hand gesture as they are yelling profane words at you.

At this point you have two choices: you can choose to get angry, frustrated, or retaliate and possibly have a road rage incident, or you could say to yourself, ‘I wonder if this person is rushing themselves to the hospital and having a medical emergency. Maybe this gentleman’s wife is in the backseat, pregnant and in active labor, and he is not in the right frame of mind.’

By changing your mindset and changing the way you think, you now will know how to be able to maintain a positive mindset with any stimulus or circumstance. By developing emotional intelligence, we now will have the skills that will allow us to have confrontational avoidance, so this way we will realize a bull dog can beat a skunk any day of the week but the question is, is it really worth the stink.

2. Change The Way We See Things

Changing the way we see things is very important. Celebrating our small victories in our life and throughout the day is vital as we need to pay attention to the way we see things. Life is based on our perception and perspective. ‘You will see molehills or mountains depending on the lens you choose to look through.’

As we begin to change the way we see things, we will learn how to separate fact from fiction and understand you can only control what you can control. Say for instance you have a nice weekend, but for some reason on Sunday evening some people develop stress and anxiety and find themselves dreading the upcoming Monday. Some people even call Monday’s ‘Blue Monday’ or ‘Monday Blues.’ As we change the way we see things, we will realize Mondays are beautiful. We may realize Mondays are like having a fresh start, or the ultimate reset button; it’s a chance to set the tone for the week.

Changing the way you see things can also be applied to the way we see the weather. We cannot control the weather, so why are we getting upset or frustrated about the weather? If you ask someone. ‘How are you doing today?’ you may hear a person respond in a downtrodden voice, ‘Well, it’s raining today.’ Just because it is raining, we should not allow it to control or dictate our mood, attitude, or behavior. As we begin to change the way we see things, we will realize a rainy day is enjoyable. It provides the soil, plants, fruits, and vegetables the nutrients they need to flourish. As we begin to change the way we see things, we will see ourselves and the world around us differently.

3. Change The Way We Speak

We have to realize words are powerful. We need to be aware of the words we say to others, as well as the words we say to ourselves. We need to pay attention to the tension. Sometimes we need to take a moment to make a conscious effort to listen to ourselves and cross-examine our inner voice to avoid any negative self-talk that can lead to self-sabotage. Sometimes you may hear people say phrases like, ‘I am such a klutz,’ ‘I’ll never lose this weight,’ ‘I can’t do it,’ ‘there’s no use,’ or ‘I’ll never be in a relationship.’ By saying these words internally or externally, it will damage your self-esteem, destroy your confidence, and steal your joy.

We also need to pay particular attention to words and phrases that have a negative connotation associated with it. For example, if you are on the phone with someone and you have to place them on hold for a moment. When you return back to them, instead of saying, ‘I’m sorry for the delay,’ you could say, ‘Thank you for your patience.’ In this situation, you can simply replace the word sorry with the word thank you. Say if you made a mistake and missed something, instead of saying, ‘I’m sorry I missed that,’ you could say, ‘Nice catch, thanks for letting me know.’

Another statement that has a negative connotation is when someone would say at the end of a sentence, the phrase ‘Does that make sense,’ or ‘If that makes sense?’ I don’t know when people started doing this, but it become very popular. Not only does the phrase have a negative connotation associated with it, but it creates doubt and uncertainty. This phrase can also cause an emotional trigger in the person listening to you. When thinking about communication as it relates to the sender and receiver, it is not just about what you say, it is about how it is received and interpreted.

If a person hears the phrase, ‘If that make sense?’ said to them, they may feel disrespected. We should try to avoid the phrase and it’s variations due to the negative connotation associated with it. One may feel as if someone saying this term is implying they don’t have the ability to comprehend or understand what they are saying – they may feel belittled, talked down to, degraded, or as if the person saying this term is acting like they are superior. This statement may also tell the listener you are not confident and you may not fully understand the thought or idea you are trying to convey. Many people may look at the person saying this phrase and it’s variations as if they are being arrogant, snobbish, condescending, or patronizing. Instead of saying the phrase, ‘If that makes sense,’ we could simply say, ‘Let me know if you have any questions.’ By saying this, you will have a more positive connotation associated with your words.

We are all a work in progress. In order to maintain a positive mindset, we have to put these steps into practice internally so it can show out externally. It’s almost like looking for love; everyone’s trying to look for love, but if you’re not full of love, then you’re not over flowing with it to give it to someone else.

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Rob Roberts II. You can follow his journey on InstagramYouTube, and his website. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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