‘Cooking isn’t just cooking. I know I make food appear like it hasn’t been a grueling process, but it is. Grueling.’: Mom fed up with making all the meals, ‘It drives us crazy’

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“Dear family,

You want to know why I break down over dinner time? You want to know why? Well I’ll tell you why.

Because I know I like to make food appear like it hasn’t been a grueling process, but it is.

Grueling? Yeah. I said it. Cooking isn’t just cooking. It is planning, looking for ingredients, organizing, shopping, battling Susan at Aldi because she has four items less than me and wants to go in front. It’s having eggplants thrown at me fast and hard by an angry check out assistant. It’s cooking it, making it look good, and running out to the store because someone ate the cheese because they don’t just call it Mac n freaking nothing do, they?

It’s opening a fridge or cupboard and thinking about what to cook with those ingredients.


Do I have enough?

Am I missing something?

Do I have enough money to buy fancy cheese?

Will there be leftovers?

Should I freeze them?

How long the leftovers will keep.

Will they eat it?


Who won’t eat it?

If I make it too yellow will my 5-year-old have a hernia because it looks like it’s been touched by a vegetable.

Do I have enough time to cook?  Or does it have to be speedy?

Who’s hungry?

is it healthy enough?

And who will wash up? Me again?

This is over and over for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Every day.

It’s added to the long list of the mental load that we carry that drives us crazy.

And given that yeah, we are in 2019, but women are the majority of ones who cook every night. Females are socialized to not only cook, but to love it because we are nurturing and giving and homely. So it makes sense that someone who has practiced doing it, would be the one to do it… and it’s understandable that when the 5-year-old screams, ‘Yuck!’, the 3 year old Is angry there isn’t enough and the husband ate some biscuits because it took too long, you feel personally attacked… and then you plot murder.

Cheers to the dinner makers!”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza, where it originally appeared. Follow Laura on Instagram hereSubmit your story here, and subscribe to our best love stories here.

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