“I sucked ass at being a mom today.
Some days, I feel like I’m not doing a good job at this mom thing. Because it’s so f***ing hard.
I know, I know, it’s always worth it, and I love my kids. But man, when did it get so hard?
Today I yelled too much at them, they watched too much television, I fed them pasta, which they glazed over, picking out most of the nutrients.
I yelled at them to stop yelling (funny huh?), I told my son to stop calling his sister ‘poopy head’ at least thirty times today. Something I never thought I would be doing.
As I write this story, I am sitting on my bedroom floor. Hiding. Trying to get a moment of silence. It’s so hard some days. And I know I’m not alone.
There’s no ‘silver lining’ to this story.
Being a mom is f***ing hard.
Everyday, I tell myself ‘tomorrow!’
Tomorrow will be the day I don’t yell.
Tomorrow will be the day I talk calmly all day to them.
Tomorrow will be the day they won’t fight with each other.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better. Easier.
And whenever I lay them down to bed at night, I look at those beautiful souls I created and think, ‘How could I ever be so mad at them?’ It’s a routine I have had for the past few years now.
Being a mom is f***ing hard. And I suck at it a lot of the time. But that’s okay, because I’m trying my best to raise good, kind, decent, loving human beings, in a world so cold.
There’s no way that’s going to be easy.
Keep going mama, we got this. Even if we f***ing suck some times.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Caitlin Fladager. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
Read more from Caitlin:
‘Yes, I have 2 kids. Yes, I smoke weed daily. Weed makes me a better mom.’: Mom says marijuana has helped her anxiety, ‘weed is my glass of wine’
‘I’m the backpack of the family. I carry all of your things. Put it all on me. Physically, and mentally.’: Mom pens sweet letter to children, ‘I love being your safe space’
‘I’m pregnant dad…’ I was 18. You looked so mad. You two needed each other, even if you didn’t know it yet.’: Teen mom pens appreciation letter to dad, ‘I couldn’t imagine doing life without you’
‘Anxiety is just in your head.’ ‘It’s not as bad as you make it out to be.’ This is what anxiety looks like. My raw, scratched up face and chest.’: Woman candidly shares the reality of anxiety
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