The Most Important Way We Can Love Our Children Is To Love On Our Spouse

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“As a parent, the most important way we can love on our children is to love on our spouse.

Our children know when their parents are arguing.

They have to dodge the fiery darts of anger flying through the air.

They see when our feelings get hurt.

Theirs get hurt, too.

They wait to see if an apology or the silent treatment comes next.

It’s our job as parents to ask God to help fix what’s broken between us, so our children and our children’s children don’t get scarred, too.

Marriage is hard anyway.

It’s so hard when you’re dealing with two different people from two different backgrounds who prioritize things differently.

My husband is all about keeping the house neat and organized.

I’d rather play until bedtime then pick up the mess.

We load the dishwasher differently.

We fold clothes differently.

We don’t immediately agree on plans.

And that’s all totally normal.

It doesn’t make us incompatible or enemies.

It’s just a reminder that it takes effort and empathy.

Humility is the best approach for working toward reconciliation.

And that newlywed advice about keeping date nights a priority really does help.

We don’t plan frequent date nights because we have a ‘perfect’ relationship.

Instead, we protect that time together to acknowledge when we’re getting off track and reconnect.

We’ve also got to remember to extend the same grace to each other that we shower over our sweet babies every day.

We need to support and value and serve each other and show our children what it means to be a team.

Sometimes, we need to close the door for a bit and pray.

Sometimes, we need to shed some tears and explain our hearts.

Sometimes, we just need to feel appreciated and seen.

Marriage is a living, breathing partnership.

It is not meant to make us miserable, and our children need to see how good it is.

When God joined two partners together, it was good!

And it still is.

But it takes two people committed to making sure it survives.

Because the stress of parenting and adulting wears us out and makes us vulnerable to attack, and it’s so easy to blame each other.

Let’s choose to love each other instead.

I don’t only want to do it for the kids — I want to do it for us, too.

Hear this: there is never a reason to remain in an abusive relationship.

It’s important to seek wise counsel and take care of our mental and physical health.

We must cling to Jesus and ask Him to guide us and be glorified in us.

Lord, we want more than a roommate.

We want our marriages to reflect the goodness and grace You offer to us.

We want You to help us thrive.

Because we know if our marriage is hurting, our whole family will be sick.”

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Courtesy of Jaclyn Warren

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Jaclyn Warren. You can follow her journey on Facebook and InstagramSubmit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more stories from Jaclyn here:

‘I married a man who knows how to love a mother. He prayed over me and our babes even before we knew our first child’s name.’: Woman tells husband ‘thank you for loving us so well’

‘We waited for age 3 to potty train. We started preschool late. We baptized when our son was old enough to understand what it means.’: Mom urges ‘move at your own pace, mama’

‘There is no end to partpartum. No matter how long it’s been, we’ve changed in a way that can’t be undone.’: Mom urges ‘she still deserves respect and so much grace’

‘There are storms, but each night he hurries to ask, ‘Mom, will you sleep with me first?’ I give him a squeeze and a kiss, and ask God to comfort us both.’: Mom says ‘I am his security blanket, his calm after the storm’

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