“When I see another twin parent out in public, I feel this weird urge to yell out, ‘I HAVE TWINS, TOO!’ Except I don’t because I don’t want to look weird. I feel like there should be some sort of secret signal we can use to represent ‘I feel your life deep in my soul.’
My soul that took a serious beating in those first 2 years because wow, it felt like I was constantly trying to match up all the sides of a Rubik’s Cube while my brain suffered from severe sleep deprivation and if I didn’t, the Rubik’s Cube would explode with ear piercing screams and a s–tstorm of literal s–t.
When I saw another twin mom at playgroup recently, that same urge came over me again to let her know I can relate to the unique life of twins. Hers were younger, plus she had another singleton not much older. Those flashbacks hit me like a ton of bricks. My twins are 3 and my eldest is 6, so life is still pretty hectic, but it’s got nothing on those first two years that almost broke me. Honestly, I just wanted to hug her. And buy her a coffee. And spike it with some whiskey.
It reminded me of how much I had been drowning in a sea of tears and nappies. She said it all felt like a blur, which is accurate AF. It was a busy blur of hectic chaos and nothing I could have done would have ever prepared me for it. My savior was crying to other twin moms at playdates knowing they felt the exact same way, and we picked each other’s hopes and dreams back out of the trash after we’d thrown them away in despair. It was tough.
The guilt I’d felt about not being able to give my eldest the attention she needed and deserved.
The way I’d felt like a prisoner strapped to my babies because… boobs, yo.
The frequent overnight waking’s.
The constant darting between three small kids out in public.
Then out of nowhere, I realized life has changed.
I was no longer handling nappies filled with poo.
I was no longer constantly darting between three small kids in public because they became more resilient.
I was no longer looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn’t even have to light that b—h up myself! It just happened.
Out of nowhere.
Sometimes you just don’t realize how far you’ve come until you look back at the earlier challenges, and while the challenges will always continue, they’re different. You can communicate with them (amongst the attitude and yelling), you’ll find the time to remember you’re a person who has needs, and you’ll feel your heart swell with love and pride as you realize all of your kids are the best darn thing to ever happen to you.
Parents of multiples, f—ing superstars, you’ve got this. What a wild ride!”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Katie Bowman of Living My Family Life, and originally appeared here. Purchase Katie’s book here. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
Read more from Katie here:
‘You’ll never get them away if you keep them so close.’ Babywearing my 9-week-old twins at the store, the lady working there shook her head. 9 WEEKS.’: Mom urges ‘my kids aren’t spoiled, they’re loved’
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