“‘That’s it, I’m moving out!’
And it’s all because of this stupid shoe.
OK, it’s about more than the shoe.
And it wasn’t a teenager yelling these words. It was me.
Also I’m not really moving out.
But, you guys, because of one shoe I yelled this at my people to start our day.
Most often I can look for the joy in the chaos. I try really hard to focus on the good and send them off with a hug and a smile. And I succeed most of the time.
But every now and then something happens, like I can’t find one of my shoes because apparently my plea to put shoes away in pairs and to not borrow my stuff without asking has fallen once again on deaf ears and I just crack and act like a maniac.
I yell ridiculous things at my people, like ‘I can’t take this place! I’m moving out!’
Or ‘That’s it, I’m throwing away all the toys!’
Or, ‘No one in this family is allowed to use the downstairs bathroom ever again!’
Or, ‘If you people don’t eat the lunches we packed for you we’re completely done feeding you, you can just go ahead and forage for food in the wild.’
Basically, I get pushed to the Breaking Point and from the Breaking Point, you cannot see the good. The blessings are just too far away from this place to even catch a glimpse of them.
All I can see from the Breaking Point is disaster and chaos.
Have you been to the Breaking Point my friends? It’s just not a fun place.
And inevitably I find a different pair of shoes, or the kids clean up the playroom or I just drive away from the house for a few minutes and get some space and I feel a million times better.
I move on from the Breaking Point, but the next stop is usually The Land of Regret.
And once I am there I feel terrible for losing it.
Yet, I think we have to be allowed to lose it sometimes. It’s OK to be blind to the blessings every now and then. It doesn’t mean we are bad people, just human ones.
We are not expected to be perfect.
We just regroup and move on and our kids learn we are human so they can be too. They learn when you lose it you apologize and forgive and move forward. They learn our love is stronger than lost shoes and messy bathrooms and uneaten lunches.
And they also learn they might need to clean up their stuff before mom loses her mind.
Hey, a girl can dream.
So to those of you who lost it today, I invite you back from the Breaking Point. Please, don’t stay long in the Land of Regret.
Come back to the World of Being Human. Where all the crazy love is hiding under the chaos. Where you might need to spend the day cleaning your home so people can find the shoes because you know this is what you need to do in order to keep finding the joy.
And where your people love you, even when you act like a maniac. Just like you do for them.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Hiding in the Closet with Coffee by Amy Betters-Midtvedt. The article originally appeared here. Follow Amy on Instagram here. Submit your story here, and be sure to subscribe to our best love stories here.
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