“You know what I love? Friends who don’t make this friend thing complicated.
People who don’t use the ‘you find out who your friends are’ phrase passive aggressively.
I love friends who agree there’s no need for labeling.
The thing is, there are limitations to the kind of friend I can be.
Whoever says, ‘it’s not hard to text back’ obviously doesn’t have a brain turned to mush like me.
So right now, more than ever, I’m thankful for friends who don’t have unrealistic expectations of me.
I won’t always be a phone call away.
Sometimes, I leave my phone inside so that it’s not a distraction when I’m spending time with my family.
I won’t always be there in the exact moment you may need me.
I really try, but sometimes I’m fighting my own demons and I’m truly just surviving.
I won’t give you my undivided attention.
But I will listen to you vent between pushing babies on the swings.
I can’t promise to make it to the events you plan.
But I’ll surely try or I’ll cheer you on in your endeavors while I rock a sick baby.
And I want my friends to know that I don’t expect any more from them.
If we go a whole year without talking much, we can pick up where we left off, like we never skipped a beat.
Even if we don’t get a word in between the cries and the screams, we can eat a meal together at a restaurant where strangers are ready for our crew to leave.
You don’t have to be like me.
You don’t have to love the things I do or have the same size family.
You don’t have to fill me in on everything.
But you could text me tomorrow and we could pack up and head to the park down the street.
Don’t you ever feel guilty for not being around enough.
Because I’m fighting that same guilt that’s lost under my mom guilt and wife guilt and exhaustion and just everything.
So, we may not be planning many girl’s nights this year or even remembering to text each other back regularly.
But just know that anytime you cross my mind, in the midst of the chaos of every day, I’m thankful for you.
Because right now, above all else, I need a friend who is understanding.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Whitney of Trains and Tantrums. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
Read more from Whitney:
‘Kids shouldn’t have kids.’ Shame spread over me. As a teen, I couldn’t hide my big belly.’: Teen mom explains why she ‘kept her baby’ at 16-years-old
‘I got in my car and drove away from my family. I didn’t know where I was going, but I wanted to go far away, for good.’: Mom feels ‘guilty’ the things she’s ‘always wanted’ bring her ‘the most heartache’
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