‘I think you need to go buy me some diapers.’ I hung my half-naked self off the side of the bed and peed in the bowl.’: After laparoscopic surgery, woman says husband’s care is ‘real love’

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“PSA: If you get laparoscopic surgery you would be wise to buy some diapers and GasX.

Although a friend of mine reached out to me and warned me about the pain I would feel associated with the surgery, I was not prepared for it.

With laparoscopic surgery, they inflate your tummy with carbon dioxide so they can see better.

I started to notice the pain my friend warned me about in the hospital. The nurse told me it was the gas trying to leave my body by moving up. It created shoulder pain (the gas irritates a nerve and that translates to shoulder pain) and made breathing (irritates the diaphragm as well) uncomfortable for me.

I noticed it got worse when I sat up and it subsided when I would lay down.

Fast forward to being home. Ryan helped me to the bathroom and before I could even get off the potty, that shoulder and diaphragm pain kicked into full gear.

I quickly got my half-naked self to my bed and lost it. This pain was so intense, I could barely breathe but then again, breathing hurt too. I felt like I was being stabbed (not that I know what being stabbed feels like but if I had to guess, this was it) every time I tried to breathe.

I would hold my breath as long as I could and then take as little of a breath as possible because expanding my lungs hurt so dang much. As I was crying, noises I have never heard or made before were coming from my mouth.

I told Ryan I couldn’t breathe as he was standing over me watching me lose it. He couldn’t do anything but watch.

Then, Noah, our 11-year-old walked in. Ryan quickly told him to leave. He didn’t want him seeing me like that. The pain finally started to subside, so Ryan climbed into bed with me. He looked at me and said, ‘Let’s not do that again.’

I told him, ‘I think you need to go buy me some diapers because I’m not sitting up or getting out of bed again.’

I was half kidding and half-serious. That kind of pain will make you do things you never thought you would do, and a diaper sounded really good at the moment.

I had Ryan call Noah back in so he could see I was okay. I could tell he was worried. No kid needs to see their mom in pain like that. I gave him some kisses and we hugged for a while.

You wanna know what we did the next time I had to pee? No, I didn’t walk to the bathroom. Who in their right mind would willingly do something that causes that much pain? I’m far smarter than that! I told Ryan to bring me a bowl. You know, one of those plastic mixing bowls you cook with. Yup, one of those!

I hung my half-naked self off the side of the bed, so I could keep my back flat, and peed in the bowl. All while my sweet husband stood there helping. I mean, does it get any sexier than that in marriage?

Surgery isn’t sexy, but a man who is by your side going along with your crazy ideas because he loves you so much and doesn’t want you in pain… that is sexy. After 15 years of marriage, we have experienced many moments like this together.

One of the great things about being married is having someone by your side who will do anything for you. Who sees you at your absolute worst and loves you through it.

I know if I really wanted him to go buy me some diapers, he would have, and he wouldn’t judge me for it. He would do anything for me! I mean, I’m sure we would have had a good laugh about it and he most certainly would have teased me, but he would have done it.

Surgery is not fun, but it can bond you closer to your spouse and you can get a few good laughs from it. Like when we were in the hospital and Ryan gave me a spoon full of ice and I spit it out and told him, ‘Too much.’ I was stoned and it seemed like a logical thing to do.

With Ryan by my side, I know everything will be okay. There is no one else who can take care of me or comfort me the way he does. He’s such a great caregiver. When I say he takes care of me, I mean he really takes care of me.

Last night I woke up and told him it was hot, he took my top blanket off, lowered the AC, and felt my forehead to see if I had a fever.

He woke up at 3 a.m. to give me my meds and wrote down the time he gave them to me.

He has brought me all my food in bed and even cut up my pizza for me.

He never complains about taking care of me. He just does what needs to be done and then some.

His response to me is often this, ‘Whatever you want.’

This is real love.

I am happy to announce, I did not have to pee in the mixing bowl again!

I have been able to make it to the bathroom and the pain associated with the gas is slightly better. Oh, happy pain meds!”

Courtesy Tracey Ferrin

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Tracey Ferrin, 36, of Houston, Texas. Tracey’s new book “Up Struggle” is available now here. Follow her journey on Instagram here and Facebook here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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