“I get asked for marriage advice pretty regularly, which I’ll admit makes me nervous because it means people see me as an authority when I’m actually just some dad who buys his pants at Costco. But I will admit, I always tell people this one tip: the person you marry will change.
Now I know this sounds like an easy concept, but there’s more to it. I was once chatting with a college student I work with, and he was going on about how the woman he married was going to have a banging body, be into healthy food and video games. She was going to be social, love fitness, have a good sense of humor, and the fashion sense of a Kardashian, while also being thrifty. Basically, his dream woman was full of contradictions.
He was looking for a unicorn.
I asked him what he was going to do when she had a really rough pregnancy and her body changed in ways no one expected? Or what about years down the road when she’s an awesome mom and wife, but she’s been up so many nights in a row, that she now shops in yoga pants and crocs? Or she grows out of gaming, or runs into some health issues and has to become a vegan?
‘Are you going to walk out? Or are you going to accept that she’s still a wonderful person who changed because life does that? I have a feeling you are better than that.’
I don’t think he liked my response, honestly. But hey, sometimes people struggle with the truth. After being married almost 14 years, I can say confidently that Mel and I have changed, and with each change, we were left to decide if this was a deal breaker or not. I took up religion, Mel followed. Mel became a vegetarian, I followed. I went back to college, Mel followed. We became parents together, home owners together. Gained and lost weight together.
We bought a minivan.
We are not the couple who began this journey.
Sometimes the only thing that really keeps two people together are love and shared life experience, because everything else: passions, body types, finances, likes and dislikes, tastes, is temporary.”
This story was written by Clint Edwards from No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog and author of I’m Sorry…Love, Your Husband. His new book can be found here. Follow Clint on Instagram here. Submit your story here, and subscribe to our best love stories here.
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