‘I went back to work. We needed an income. I’m just going to say it, I don’t feel guilty. I love it.’: Mom enters workforce after 5-year break raising babies, ‘I still wanted my identity’

“So, I went back to work.

After 5.5 years of not working I didn’t know where to begin. I felt like I had to justify to every employer that even though I wasn’t paid, I haven’t stopped working. Raising babies has been the hardest job I’ve ever had. 

I finally found the perfect employer, and everything just gelled, it took me a few months though. 

Love makes a home, but it doesn’t keep one, and we needed an income. But more than that, I studied for years, I had goals and dreams. I worked hard to get where I wanted to be and although my children come first, I didn’t want to come last, so I still wanted my identity. 

Is it hard? Well working is a break from the relentlessness and not having the demands and mental exhaustion of motherhood for 8 hours is great. Peeing alone, being called by my name, working towards a goal that isn’t about laundry, and hot coffee is the bomb… but I know it’s there waiting for me to when I come back

I am forever tired and yet I got to get into work and prove I can do this, while not thinking about my kids and their needs and not look exhausted while drinking teacups of coffee 

Is there guilt? Well, I listened to the PTA president of my kid’s new school talk about research and how good it is for mothers to be involved at school. Thanks Betty! Perfect timing, now my kid will grow unloved because I am back at work. However, it is part time. 

And then there’s missing the baby because he’s asleep when you left and asleep when you get home.

But I’m just going to say it, I don’t feel guilty. I love it. 

I’ve found my voice and I’m using it. I’m paid for my opinions and my work and my time, and it’s appreciated. 

And I feel like some kind of superwoman, because now that I have kids, I just don’t take shit from anyone. I’m stronger, I’m smarter, I’m wiser and I’m tougher and having kids made me that way. I won’t let anyone walk all over me because mate, I pushed a baby out of my vagina, had a c section, and breastfed angry piranha’s whilst navigating the competitiveness of motherhood, everything else is a piece of cake!

I go to work and smash it, and I miss my children but I go home and I appreciate the time with them. 

I feel like me again and I feel I’m making a mark on the world.

So, if you’re worried or scared about returning to work, or you think because you have a big gap from your last job that you won’t be ready or won’t look ready, please don’t even think twice. A mother’s role is freaking phenomenal, no job can compare, and if you can do that, you can conquer the world baby!”

Courtesy Laura Mazza

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Laura Mazza, where it originally appeared. Follow Laura on Instagram here. Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

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