“A little secret I’ve been keeping…
I wavered back and forth for a few weeks about writing this. I didn’t know how ‘appropriate’ it would be, or who would have an opinion. But obviously it’s up and I decided to make it public. I’ve worked for a plastic surgeon for two years now. It’s not something I’m shy about.
See, I’ve always struggled with my body image and I’ve always hated my breasts, ever since high school. I’ve always been ‘larger.’ As all of you women will understand and sympathize with, after many years, gravity eventually became my enemy. If you asked my husband, he would tell you that I was perfect…I really am so lucky to have him in my corner. But it wasn’t about that.
I didn’t feel perfect. Hell, most of the time I didn’t want him to touch them. It was always a sensitive subject for me, and when you are 25 and you have such strong feelings about your body, it eats away at you after a while. I couldn’t wear the cute sundresses like my girlfriends, I couldn’t wear sexy lingerie or bikinis…they just sagged. Yeah, I said it…sagged. I felt the exact opposite of beautiful, all the time.
So I made a decision back in November that I wanted to get a boob job. I wanted pretty boobies, whatever that meant. So the exact explanation of what I had done was a Bilateral Breast Augmentation with 205 cc Low Profile Implants and a Bilateral Mastopexy. Essentially, I had breast implants placed and a breast lift. I had my procedure late Thursday, January 30th. I stayed home that Friday and the following Monday from work and went back Tuesday. I am still healing and I’ve started the scar care.
Guess what? I love them! They are the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It has given me so much self- confidence! I love my body again, and every day since the surgery I have shown my husband the healing progress I’ve made. It’s an amazing feeling to not be ashamed of my body. I don’t want to send the message that you have to surgically fix things that you don’t like about your body, but what I am saying is that if you decide to that is okay as well. I am speaking my truth. This is probably the most personal thing I have ever written about, and I wouldn’t feel as empowered to do so if it wasn’t for that decision. I am learning to fall back in love with me.
Point being is that sometimes you are allowed to be vain and do things based on those feelings. As women, we struggle with our appearance more than we let on. You never know someone’s internal struggle and you should never compare yourself to someone else…we are all made differently and we are all handed a different deck of cards. We need to do a better job of lifting each other up.
I hope that my message isn’t lost in the shock value of this story. It isn’t always easy to love yourself and we are all human; it is important to remember to show yourself grace, as well as do what you need to in this life to be content with you. I don’t care if that means going to the gym more, going back to school, or getting a boob job. Whatever it is that helps you get through this life happy and healthy, do it. ”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Harley Murphy. You can follow her journey on Instagram and her blog. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
Read more from Harley:
‘You’re the girl without a tribe. You, my dear, are not broken. People just don’t know how wonderful you are yet.’: Woman urges ‘whatever girl you are, you are not alone’
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