‘If you feel like you are failing at life right now, then Friend, you are in good company.’: Woman urges ‘there is no ceiling to this trench, we WILL get out’

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“If you feel like you are failing at life right now,

Then, Friend, you are in good company.

For I have never (to the ever) felt such a loss of control in my life than what I have these last couple of months.

I am tired.

I am frustrated.

I am overwhelmed.

And I am always, always hungry. What is even up with that?! YOU ARE NOT A MACHINE, HEATHER. As I dip my chip into the salsa, but back on track…

My children are playing way too many video games. My husband and I are constantly butting heads. Even the family dog is not herself.

Life just feels like it’s eating me whole.

…And I know I am not alone.

I read the words. I hold the conversations. I see it in your eyes as I pass you in the grocery store aisle (above your mask that is adorned with cute little rainbows and flowers).

WE are tired.

WE are frustrated.

WE are overwhelmed.

Now that I think about it, let’s talk about that for a second, shall we? Friends, there are so many hurting hearts right now. Like, so, so many. Whether they are weighed down for fear of illness, fear of the economy, fear of the unknown…people are saying things they would never say, doing things they would never do, and feeling things they would never feel. And you wanna know what those people need? A judging eye? Nope. A rude word? Nope. A gossip behind their back? Another nope. They need kindness, Friends. Lots of it. Be that for them, okay?

Now. Moving on.

I’m trying to find joy in the moments. I really, really am. But dang, it’s HARD. I’ve always been able to search for a silver lining, and I know I am fortunate and privileged in so many ways–I’m not searching to put food on the table. I’m not scrimping up change to put gas in the car. I’m not worried about how the electricity bill will get paid this month.

Yet life still. feels. heavy.

I’m craving normal. Craving it so stinkin’ much. You see, I’m so resistant to change, I even hate moving around my living room furniture. True story.

Now my head is being counted as I walk into a grocery store. I’m taking the cauliflower I picked up, even though I just noticed it’s rotten on one side because you just can’t lay stuff back anymore. AND WHY DO I HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME FOLLOWING THOSE DANG ARROWS?!

Also, the first picture on social media I see about me going ‘down’ the aisle I’m supposed to be going ‘up’ in? You’re getting that cauliflower with the rotten side delivered to your front step. Believe that.

I miss seeing faces without masks. I miss asking my babies how their day was in school. I miss running into a grocery store super quick just because I need onions for dinner, and not having to stand in a line to wait for my turn.

Side note: I get the restrictions. I totally understand it. I’m just saying it’s hard on the heart, that’s all.

…And believe me when I say if I never heard the words ’social distancing’ again in my lifetime, that would be A-OK with me. Hashtag, over it.

I don’t know, Friends. This emotional rant? No point to it really. I won’t tell you I found a cure for my frustrations. There is no checklist to be found of things that have ‘worked’ for me.

It’s just to let you know that if you are in the trenches, too, look over this way, Sister–I’m here with you.

Let’s remind each other it’s okay to not be okay right now. And let’s also remember there is no ceiling to this trench. Meaning, we can get out.

Scratch that. We WILL get out.

But for right now, we’ll just sit here together, okay?”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Heather Delaney of Love Always, Heather. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more from Heather:

‘He doesn’t buy flowers or cook romantic meals, but he always pushes the grocery cart.’: Woman claims ‘love is found’ in small gestures, learns to accept husband as is

‘Dear Little Sister, you may have been the ‘lucky one’ back then, but I’m the lucky one now.’: Woman shares appreciation letter for little sister, ‘You taught me to live and love’

‘To the woman who cannot afford to stock up on essentials for her baby right now, you are still a good mother.’: Woman pens note to mothers struggling through coronavirus pandemic

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